World Introvert Day (2nd January)

 

M is for Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a technique you can learn to be fully present and engaged in the moment without judging anything. It can help you manage your thoughts, feelings and mental health.

When my feelings seem to overwhelm me, when I can't tell what is true and what isn't, when my emotions drown out the voice of sanity... I can stop and press the reset button! I'm just learning my way through this technique at the moment so am not particularly good at this - however it has already helped me.

It may well help you. 

Perception - a definition

perception (noun): a belief or opinion, often held by many people and based on how things seem:

• We have to change the public's perception that money is being wasted.
• These photographs will affect people's perceptions of war.

More examples

• There is a general perception that exams are becoming easier to pass.
• It is my perception that his argument was fundamentally flawed.
• We need to change people's perception of the military.
• These perceptions reflect those of the general public.
• Popular perception of him is gradually changing.

(Definition of perception from the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press. Shared with you as I try and establish whether what I am feeling at the moment is truly how things are or just someone else's perception of what is reported. Keep an open mind.)

Saturday Catch-Up - 2nd March 2019

Lord, I'm not feeling at my best this week. To be brutally honest.

I've been trying to keep going, to keep moving, trying to lift my mood where I can. It's been... difficult. I feel that I'm running on empty. I often feel that I've simply been going through the motions.

I've been trying to push myself through the barriers caused by my negative feelings, through the lethargy. My life is quite dark at the moment.

Lord, all I can do is affirm the goodness of life and try to hold on to you until the darkness that I see is replaced by your light and love.

I know that I am loved. Life will be beautiful again. Soon, I will see it once again. Help me to see it.

I need you to be my strength and salvation. I need you to restore me and make me whole.

Fill me with your Word and your Spirit that I might be recreated anew.

Amen.

Saturday Catch-Up - 19th January 2019

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” ― Winston Churchill

Well, that was a week to remember! Feeling so much better health-wise, feeling so much worse when I start looking at the news headlines ... oh well ... I've made it to the end of yet another week!

And so, it's onward and upward. As I look back over the last seven days, I revel in those many little victories at work, when so many things have combined to conspire against me. I rejoice in those precious incidents when I feel I have bonded with a kindred spirit, each of us battling to do the best job we can in our own small corner. I pat myself on the back when I continue to take a stand to help my fellow man - when so many others want to sweep them under the carpet, to boot them out.

It's the small things that have made a difference to my life this week. Because most of the big things have been, to tell the truth, a bit... meh!

Yeah, I know, it's more how I have felt about this week, and not what I have actually experienced. And I know, feelings can be deceptive.

Feelings come and feelings go,
And feelings are deceiving;
My warrant is the Word of God -
Naught else is worth believing. 
― Martin Luther

Facts Not Opinions

It's amazing what grabs your attention.... I was on the bus on Monday in Central London, having just come back from a long weekend in Edinburgh. I was physically and emotionally weary. And the bus passed by a building named after a man called David Kirkaldy...

Kirkaldy (1820–1897) was a Scottish engineer who pioneered the testing of materials as a service to engineers during Victorian times. He built a large hydraulic tensile test machine, later moving the machine to larger purpose-built new premises at 99 Southwark Street. This is now known as the Kirkaldy Testing Museum. Over the door of the building is the motto "Facts not Opinions".

I took the picture at the top of this post on Monday morning... because the motto yelled out at me. I had to blog about it...

Facts. Not Opinions.

A useful motto for me this week, with my feelings literally all over the place at the moment. I don't know whether I'm coming or going... getting it right or horribly wrong... on top of things or sinking fast...

I need some solid facts at the moment. Not just opinions...

Poker Face

I'm pretty good at adopting a 'poker face'. Yeah, just like you're supposed to use in the card game, but in my case is not for financial gain, or even to help with your love life (like Lady Gaga). No, this is a self-preservation trait that I found myself using quite a lot...

Because sometimes I simply can't show what I'm thinking when other people are around. It simply wouldn't be polite, for starters. Speaking my mind would get me into far more trouble that I'd like. So I clam up.

But I know I have a problem with this.

Because I really struggle with letting it out later and dealing with it. Keeping it locked up within is simply bad for my health.

Take the other week. I was so angry about something that had happened, that it got to the stage that I simply could not think straight. It took all the strength and determination I had to sit there and endure, repressing my negative feelings because it wasn't an appropriate moment to share them. It wouldn't have been the right time.

So I had to 'suck it up'. Bury it. Put on the mask. Wear that poker face...

But was it easy to try and get it out of my system once everyone had disappeared? Nope.

And I know I have to rid myself of the bitterness... it can't sit there, unresolved. It took about an hour or two of intense examination and deliberate refocussing of my feelings in order to get back on an even keel.

****************************

Father, I acknowledge that I've held resentment and bitterness against the person who made me feel that way. I confess this as sin and ask you to forgive me. I forgive (the person). Remind me, Lord, to not hold any more resentments, but rather to love this person. Father, I ask you to also forgive them.

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Putting It Off

I'm awfully good at finding things to do. However sometimes it's not that one job that I have to do.

That really can surprise people. Because I can be very productive when I turn my mind to it. When I'm 'in the zone', so to speak.

And there's the problem. Sometimes I really don't feel like it.

The best way that I can explain this is to go back to the ancient idea that inspiration for great work in the realms of literature or the arts only came from heaven. Try and force your way through a particular job without receiving a degree of divine inspiration - and you're sunk.

• Sometimes I can't find my 'zone', no matter how hard I look for it.
• If I am 'in the zone', then I need to start work now. Get it done, if it's a job around the house. Or, if it's writing, get as much of it down on paper/laptop as I can before it fades; before I lose it.
• If I can't get into my stride when I'm 'in the zone', then pow! Suddenly, I've lost it.
• If I can't get others to buy into what I'm trying to do when I'm 'in the zone', then my enthusiasm wanes because they don't feel like it - so therefore, it soon rubs off on me, so I don't want to do it any more...
• And if I'm drained - emotionally or physically - there's very little I can do. It's just too much. All I want to do is rest, and wait for that inspiration to descend once again. Wait until I'm back 'in the zone'.

The problem here - when I read this all back - is that I see that the problem here is feelings. I don't feel like it. Or others don't feel like working when I want to..

There's also an assumption here, of course. It's an assumption that really productive people are always 'in the zone' - that positive, energetic frame of mind that impels them to start and carries them through all the way until completion. I'm afraid that this is not so.

It needs a bit of willpower as well. An understanding that there are going to be hard times, frustrations, and setbacks along the way. And I guess sometimes that it's my fear of these hard times - and of encountering the people who'd rather muck about than get down to some hard work - that creates some of the biggest hurdles in my life and prevents me personally from staying in 'the zone'. If they don't bother, why should I?

So, sometimes it takes a bit of a push to get me back into 'the zone'.

That's where the following quotes resonate with me:

Rita Emmett, in The Procrastinator’s Handbook, came up with Emmett’s Law:
"The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself."

O’Connor’s corollary:
"It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you finally get down to work."

Just a few stray thoughts today. That I had to get down. Or else, lose them completely... :)

How Not To React

It's been a particularly grotty day. Yeah, totally unpredictable, and a whole lot of nasty stuff happening.

 

And for a change I'm seeking to rise above it. Trying awfully hard not to let it get to me. I have my feelings on a very tight rein. If anything, I'm striving to see the funny side of it. Can't quite see it at the moment, but I'm still looking...
 

This follows a bit of study I've done recently into my own responsibility for my own feelings. Let's face it, I don't have any control over some of the things that happen to me. I can't control the weather, for example. What I do have under my control is the way I choose to respond - with my own thoughts and feelings. It's raining... do I have to be unhappy about it? Listen to this, taken from one of my favourite blogs:

“You don’t HAVE to feel anything in response to ANYTHING anyone does. If someone steals your coffee cup you can be amused by it if you want. You can be happy about it if you choose. There are no rules other than the rules we set for ourselves and the conscious choices we make.” - Neil Hughes, ‘Walking on Custard and the Meaning of Life: a Guide for Anxious Humans’.

Finally, I keep coming back to the following chorus. Haven't the faintest idea why... I guess this is part of the way I'm trying to find a bit of humour in the situation... even in the most horrible of situations...
 

"When me mother says he can't go down the pub
Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club
At the tomcats when they're kicking up a din
Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in
When me mother locks him out of the flat
When it's raining and he can't find his hat
In the mornings when his motorcar won't go
Next-door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow"
lyrics to 'Gertcha' by Chas & Dave (Chas Hodges / Dave Peacock). This is 'rockney' (mixture of "rock and roll" and "cockney"), a song about how a Londoner's dad might react to some low spots in his day...

Anger Management - Of Other People

I touched on this topic briefly last week, in the context of the hot weather. For reasons that are a little tricky to explain at the moment, the problem surfaced again on Saturday, giving me another chance to review my personal feelings on the matter. I didn't want to blog about it again - however, I'm gonna have to. I need to process it, get it off my chest. It's eating me up tonight.

It's all about anger. Specifically, other people's anger. It really upsets me! There's been so much of it lately. Sleepless nights due to the hot weather? Early starts and late finishes due to work commitments? Stress due to deadlines? Who knows the whole story...

Have you ever been in a room with a group of people when you know something is about to "kick off"?  I know that all too well. Most unpleasant.

However - if you know one of the people involved... then for me it becomes personal. You start to feel for them. Feel with them.

It escalates predictably. People start getting tense and raising their voices. They keep telling each other (over and over again) what they're going to do,  consolidating their position, neither side backing down.

I just want them to stop. I'm not afraid - because they're not angry at me. They're angry with each other. But it still rattles me, hours or even days afterwards. It's painful to watch, to be there as it unfolds. I've talked about this before, here's the post. 

And if I know each of them? Care for both of them? A little bit of me dies with each word uttered, with each increase on decibels in the subsequent rant. It just makes me feel ten times worse.

Can we all just get along? (sigh)

Heart to Heart

"Follow your heart" is a phrase that we hear regularly proclaimed in our popular culture. It’s a belief that your own heart (that is, your inner self, your feelings, your emotions) will be a reliable compass that will direct you to your own true "north" - if you only possess the courage to follow it.

It's a simple phrase, and many find it liberating.

But is it true? Isn't your heart simply telling you what you want to hear?

I did some reading this week to see what scripture says on the subject. Here's a selection of verses (all readings NIV):

Jeremiah 17:9 - "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

Proverbs 28:26 - "Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe."

Matthew 15:19 - "For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander."

There are a whole lot of other examples, however the gist of this is to underline that our hearts were never meant to be followed. If you follow your own guidance, you're bound to end up in the wrong place.

Understandably, we are told not to believe our hearts; instead, to direct our hearts to believe in God. Simply put - Don’t follow your heart; follow Jesus. 

Now, as a person who possesses quite deep feelings, it's tough - input comes at you all the time. On busy days it can get overwhelming. So, it's nice to know your heart does have an important part to play in the proceedings.

• It makes it quite clear what you want. Your inner self, your emotions. Are you feeling angry? Your heart is telling you something is wrong. However, that's not enough. It also needs your head (your reason) to analyse this input, and then wisdom to decide how to act... and I have always found God's teachings to be sound. Check them out - before you act rashly... James 3:17 - "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."
• Repentance needs to come from the heart... and is always accompanied by a change of behaviour. True repentance says and means, “If I had this to do over again, I would do it differently.”
• Belief comes from the heart. Romans 10:9-11 states If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”
• Obedience comes from the heart. Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commands." (John 14:15). 

Can you do that today?

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

More About Tailspins

It was way back in June 2014 that I last wrote a piece on emotional 'tailspins'. Here is the original link. At the time I promised you a follow-up, so here it is!

One of the triggers that precede 'tailspin' incidents in me (times where my emotions start going awry) is a high degree of overwhelming input. Far too much happening in too short a time, too many moments of high drama, and insufficient time between incidents to effectively work my way through it. I start becoming increasingly insular, starting patterns of social isolation (I start finding excuses to keep away from people) because it's just too painful to take any more input! Prevent me from getting some quality 'me time' and pretty soon I start to 'tailspin'.

One of the things that I've been trying to do in the past few years is to try and identify what’s happening to me before it becomes a problem; before I start hitting that emotional 'tailspin'. It's often a question of continual self-examination: How am I really feeling? Why can't I admit that to others? And so on...

Knowing My Limits

Pushing a boundary or two in my calendar is not an unfamiliar thing. I can sometimes fit in something else, even on a busy day, so why not? Emergencies happen, I just have to deal with them. The difficulty comes when things are already a bit manic, when things just get a little too much to handle. I want to say no (as much for self-preservation as anything), but it's not possible without letting someone down that I care about.

On such days, I end up feeling drained, overtired, ratty. Sure, I pat myself on the back, I've made it through, it's the end of the day - however, tomorrow's coming. A brief respite, at least. Then the problem is knowing how long is enough for me to recharge. It varies so much - particularly on those times when I'm keeping some weird hours. I know what is normal for me, but it is getting tougher to judge if that week has been unsettled, with too many extras.

On extreme days, when my need for periods of solitude becomes vital, I'll end up doing a few things that are quite out of character for me - ignoring phone calls, running away from people's requests, finding any and all opportunities to retreat from personal contact. The fear is those desperate attempts at vital solitude will soon become out-and-out isolation. I'll end up a hermit!

Stopping the Spiral

I am aware that I need to break out of such a cycle. 'No' doesn't work very often (ever tried it?), but there are other ways. Prayer is particularly effective for me. Maybe it’s forcing yourself just to go for a walk to the shops, something a colleague once called a 'microholiday'. Meeting up with a friend for coffee - provided that there is no ulterior motive...

Do something, whatever it takes for stop, and reverse the 'tailspin' spiral.

Comments welcomed.

Change It Or Channel It

(This entry is based on an email that I received recently from Rick Warren)

Yes, I know how I feel about a given situation often affects how I react to it. And many folks keep telling me that, in fact, it's all up to me. They tell me that I have a choice about how I feel. The problem is that they don't explain do it very well. They say - "like it or lump it". Which immediately switches me off... do they think I want to feel this way? That I like to feel bad? Sure, that leaves me with only one option: lump it, put up with it. :(

However, I like the email that I got recently, which explains it in a subtlely different way.

You either change it, or you channel it.

Sometimes you need to change what you’re feeling. And that's because raw emotions are so powerful, so potentially destructive, so damaging to some situations, that you're going to have to change it if you want to survive. Perhaps you are carrying around bitterness for something that happened years ago? You shouldn't. Because who is it hurting? Yourself - and in many occasions, only yourself. Everyone else may have forgotten it, which means you're the only one still keeping this alive. Christians are encouraged to ask ourselves "How would Jesus feel in this situation? Would He get annoyed? Would He be fearful?"

Sometimes you need to channel what you’re feeling. Some emotions or griefs are far too much to bear - however, we can decide to channel that grief for good - use that pain to help other people. That's bringing a good thing out of a bad thing. You are angry about an injustice? Write a letter, start a campaign, help someone who has been a victim. Turn this negative into a positive. Listen carefully - I'm not saying that you should be happy about it. I am saying that you need to find a way to find a positive from it. Name it, challenge it, channel it, use it for good.

If you can't change it, channel it.

If you can't channel it, change it.

Philippians 2:5 (TLB)

“Your attitude should be the kind that was shown us by Jesus Christ.”

On Emotions, Feelings and Numbness

This is a follow up to a post I wrote a few months ago about numbness. Here it is for ease of reference...

Just to put that last post in context, it was written just after I had experienced an extended period of numbness: I posted it up as a way of simply coming to terms with the whole experience. I wanted to understand what it happened, and why. I wanted to identify what had triggered it. The Pink Floyd song just summed it up for me!

The odd thing was that, during my 'numbness' experience, I couldn't honesty say that I was, on the whole, particularly unhappy. It was just that I didn't really feel anything. Everything was just kind of neutral, non-descript. A rather bland shade of beige.

I'm coming back to this again as I've gained a new insight in to this in recent weeks. My son has just turned 18 and he's encountering a whole new series of challenges, one after another (social, emotional, physical). And I'm seeing the same sort of thing happen to him. He's struggling to process all of the emotional input. He goes into autopilot, goes into what he calls his 'dog and pony show' routine (when he's going through the motions). Interestingly, he is an introvert, like me. Is there a connection?

I believe so. In searching for clues I have come across plenty of people who are able to share their experiences about introverts and this 'lack of feeling' seems to be remarkably common! Many have asked similar questions. What causes this inner numbness? And how do you fix it?

The key to this for me is in understanding who I am; how God has made me. He made me an introvert; and a highly sensitive one at that. Introverts like myself don't thrive in busy social gatherings; in fact, the whole experience is intensely draining. We then recharge by preciously guarding periods of 'down time'. Time alone, away from distractions.

I must admit, in times of high emotion, I get swamped! Some experiences, emotional highs, can be overwhelming. Yes, the times are great - but enough is enough. And too much is way too much! My times of numbness have usually followed frantic periods of activity, huge chunks of time taken up with crowds of people or loads of interaction, one person after another. I'm running on vapour by the end of the day and simply start 'switching off'. It's automatic, a self-defence mechanism - to combat the constant energy drain, I start to shut down my emotions.

However, I've learnt (often, the hard way!) that this means I need to rest! Start up the next day without being properly rested and I run the risk of these emotions failing to boot up at all! Regularly ignore all the warnings and pretty soon my emotions will be so well hidden that even I won’t know how to find them...

I'm getting better at reading the signs, now I know what it means. It's OK, I just need time to recover. I'll soon be able to feel again.

Compassion Fatigue

I came across a series of articles about compassion fatigue when I started looking at reasons why my feelings sometimes start going a little awry; why I start 'switching off'... (see the post a couple of weeks ago)

All this is now making a whole lot of sense to me, helping me in my efforts to ringfence my precious 'recharging time'. I love being there to help people but I realise that I don't need to be there for people all of the time. I need to think of myself sometimes...

I have found a useful website on the subject - check out the website here. I especially liked the references on this site to self-discovery and journalling as a means of coming to terms with this. I've already started!

I'm confident this will help me care for my own needs, which in turn will help me care better for others.

Overthinking

overthink ( əʊvəˈθɪŋk )
Verb, with object: Think about (something) too much or for too long...

Yes, I know. I have been told before. I do have a tendency to overthink things. True; I often sit and ponder, mulling over things that happen for hours or days afterwards. The events flood back over me, demanding my attention. I've been wondering why...

I know this tends to happen after particularly busy days. Those days when the introvert inside me has to come up with an elaborate coping strategy for the day (actually, I kind of like the buzz from these days every once in a while. It's good for me).

I believe the overthinking issue stems from the struggle that takes place inside of me - whether I should respond to things with feelings or with rational thought. I'm predominantly concerned with values, with harmony, so I tend to empathise with people. I'm a feeler at heart.

However, I've noticed that the emotional side of me has been known to switch off early on long days - I think it is due to 'data overload'.

In these times, the logical side of me takes over; I start going a little bit 'Spock' on people, reacting a bit like a Vulcan; and I believe that's when I start to overthink. Before long, simple things can become awfully complicated.

I've been reading someone else's blog post on the topic of overthinking; the writer concluded by saying that it takes a lot more work to be happy than it is to be sad. And that's because it’s easy to be sad.

Happiness is learning how to cope with all that life throws at you. Happiness in a choice.

So, I must learn to stop overthinking. And I think the key is working out how to be better at feeling...

Comments, folks?

Tailspin

(tāl′spĭn′) noun:
1.The rapid descent of an aircraft in a steep, spiral spin.

2. Informal A loss of emotional control sometimes resulting in emotional collapse.

Have you ever got yourself into such a state that life just seems to get progressively worse and worse? I've heard it called an emotional tailspin. Spiralling down, out of control, just like the planes you see in the films. A crash seems inevitable. Not good.

I'm afraid I've had this experience from time to time, so I know what I'm talking about. But I now have the answer. I know now that disaster can be avoided - I can pull out of such a 'tailspin'!

I need to start to think. Think, rather than feel.

Get one too many negative in any given day, and it's like an emotional traffic jam has occurred. I try and come to terms with each thing, but it becomes simply too much. Emotions start to overwhelm me - anger, confusion, negativity. It drains me physically. I start shutting down; I begin to switch off emotionally. If I can't remove myself from this I know that I'll begin to spiral out of control. And going home isn't an option most of the time...

It's terribly hard for me to do anything when I start to enter a tailspin. With each new challenge that comes along, I run a greater risk of 'losing it'.

Tailspins don't stop by themselves; it needs concerted effort from the pilot to pull the plane out of a spin. I need to take time out; re-centre myself. I need time to call on my Lord to centre my mind. He needs to take control of the 'plane' for a while. He needs to press reset on my emotions. He needs to clear my mind to allow myself to think clearly.

I read the other day about a bumper sticker that said "If God Is Your Co-Pilot, Switch Seats"... yes, understood.

More later....

Letting Go - Part Three

In the first two parts of what has turned out to be a series of blog entries on forgiveness, and whilst studying how to let go of things in the past, I have arrived at the inevitable conclusion that I had been hurt much harder by some past experiences than even I had imagined. In fact, there are a couple of hurts that are only now coming to light, hiding beneath what was an obvious injury. It's like I had only dealt with the flesh wound, without realising that there was a broken bone just below...

In this 21st Century world of ours, society expects us to put on a brave face to pretty much everybody. If you show any sign of weakness, you are assured of being a 'wuss', or at best of 'having your heart on your sleeve'. Somebody told me (coincidentally, the same one who said recently that I was 'too nice') that I was 'too easy a target'. Maybe so, kind sir - but did you have to take the shot?

So I have been taking a more realistic look at my 'hurt'. And how I seem to come over to others. Am I trying to maintain a 'poor me' image? I really don't think so. If anything, the opposite. I think I've been trying to convince people that I am strong during times when I was far from it... in essence, faking it until I felt better.

For instance, I used to have a problem with answering questions like "How are you today?" on a day when things haven't gone so well. I didn't want to lie and say "fine" ... and if I told the truth and said something I could be accused of fishing for sympathy... which is not what I am looking for. Sure, maybe the person asking doesn’t really care how you are. But he or she did ask, so I need to respond...

You see, "fine" is simply mundane. And possibly a lie... Unless, as one website said, it's an acronym for "Feelings I’m Not Expressing". I'm working on some better responses now; don't find this easy (it's too much like 'small talk', ugh!) but it's a work in progress.

**** **** ****

These times of reflection over this Lent period has done much to underline the terrific promise that, when I can eventually let go of these hurts, I can then take hold of something far, far better. Including God's unconditional, overflowing love for each and every one of us.

And here's another little problem; I know in my head that I am loved. However, sometimes I have trouble feeling this in my heart. Especially on those dark days when I can't keep but dwelling on that one negative remark that someone has made, simply ignoring all of the good things that have happened that same day... Why do I have trouble feeling this?

The Lent course that we have been studying at our Corps reminded me that we all have bad days as well as good. There needs to be difficult times. It's all part of life. Throughout His period on this Earth Jesus taught us all that pain, suffering and death precede resurrection and freedom from pain. He was mocked, scourged, and spat upon. And it wasn't His fault.

So, it's really OK to feel angry when you get emotionally hurt - in the same way that you feel pain from a physical hurt. However, it's not good if you continue to live in that moment of pain - never moving beyond that feeling, never healing and recovering from the 'hurt'. Numb to anything else...

There's so much to this topic - so there's more to come!!!

Trust Your Feelings?

Time for some really deep questions... Are we, as human beings, designed with some sort of inbuilt defence mechanism to protect us? Should we therefore follow our feelings, our instincts?

I've been giving this question some serious thought during the last month, during my monthly break from blogging.

You see, over the past few decades it seems to me that it's become socially acceptable to follow your feelings. It assumes that something deep within you will steer you right. If you feel strongly about something, it has to have some meaning. It's also become part of our popular culture - Luke Skywalker is encouraged to "trust his feelings" in the original Star Wars film (1977, pictured above). However, how logical - and therefore, how safe - is it to let your feelings control your behaviour?

Some clarity first - when I talk about "feelings", I'm making a clear distinction between emotion and intuition. Blindly following your emotions is clearly not a good idea. If we continue our comparison with the Star Wars movies, you will recall that characters are warned that emotions can lead you to the Dark Side. I can't argue with that in the real world, either!

The problem with feelings is having a sound base to start from. If our thoughts are based on incorrect information or on false assumptions, then consequently any feelings associated with these thoughts are bound to be equally distorted—and hardly to be trusted. For example, if you truly believe you are in a "hopeless" situation, the subsequent feelings of despair that you'll experience could well be overwhelming. On the other hand, you might truly believe that you can have anything you ever wanted - that "the world is your oyster" - so it's clear that you will probably feel unfairly treated the first time that anyone says 'no' to you.

Both of these situations are based on a false assumption - therefore, any consequent feelings cannot be reasonably justified. Hence, we should always try to seek the truth first. However painful that truth may be.

More later... as I unpack this further.

Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?