A reminder to pray

Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Travelling by car in 2023

I have found that car travel in the last couple of months to be extremely stressful. So much so that I've had to make so many changes to the way that I prepare for a long journey (anything approaching an hour in length). Here's some examples:

• I now always check my proposed route a half-hour before I start out, using Google Maps. So many times I have set out, only to find a key road has been closed due to unexpected road works.
• I then take the next half an hour to ensure I have everything I need for the day, and leaving time to allow for weather conditions. Some days I even pack food and drink just in case I am stuck in traffic.
• Before I get in the car I programme my proposed route into my Sat Nav, even though I know the way well.  This week a major road was unexpectedly closed right in front of me due to a sudden burst water main, leading to an hour and a half diversion. I wasn't best pleased.
• Useful tip 1: if you are going to a town that you haven't been to before, always double-check your destination point. Even the best Sat Navs are only as good as the data you feed into it. Even I have been sent to the wrong place on a couple of occasions (who knew there were two Tesco's in the same town?)...
• I also travel with the radio on, so I can get constant travel updates as I go. Belt and brace. The number of times my journey has been disrupted due to bad traffic, accidents, and even from the actions of a couple of protesters dangling from a bridge ...
• Keep your eyes open as you travel. In these days you can't even guarantee the road surface, and a sudden pot hole from an unmaintained road can quickly ruin your day.
• Useful tip 2 - keep a close eye on the speed limit: this is the maximum you can drive; remember it's a limit not not a target. Of course, going too slow can be dangerous too...
• Don't forget to allow time for unexpected delays. It's better to be half an hour early than to be half an hour late. 
• Oh, and don't forget that you have to repeat all of the above checks once again on your journey home.

Who said getting there is half the fun? Not so in 2023... no wonder there are so many that now prefer to work from home!

(I googled it - “Getting There was Half the Fun” was an advertising slogan used by Cunard in the 1950s as they were building up interest in their transatlantic ships)

High Anxiety

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Enjoy The Ride?

As I mentioned last week, sometimes it feels like life is a roller-coaster.

However, don't get me wrong. I'm not so concerned about the ups and downs. Because it's not so much that I want things to be going well all of the time. I know that life isn't like that. You have good days and you have bad days. Wouldn't it rather boring if all the days were the same?

No, it's more the speed that I'm taking the corners at... the sheer pace of life. That's the bit that I can often find to be overwhelming ...

The ups and the downs are all part of the ride. However, it's when it's all coming all at once, there is little time to get ready for what's about to happen next. That's when I find it tough...

Life is like a roller-coaster. It has its ups and downs.
But it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.

I'm trying to enjoy the ride. :)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28

Be Still

Who exactly is in control of my life? I often wonder...

• Sometimes I feel that I am careering through life in the fast lane of a motorway in a clapped-out old car, with me reluctantly in the driver's seat - frantically pumping the foot-brake to slow things down, while looking for the signs for the next junction so I can finally escape from this fast pace set by the other road users...
• And then, sometimes, things actually do work out, and I'm happy, patting myself on the back for managing to steer my way through yet another storm... and yet, I wonder 'what did I do right'...
• And then, there are those times when things do work out, and I simply haven't got a clue how I managed to survive that one - that one has to be God's, I couldn't have done that on my own. Clearly God has to be in control...

I am writing this post whilst sitting on the sofa, the family have all gone out, so the house is actually quiet. The winter storm that was kicking off outside for the last two days is finally spent, and the snow is starting to subside. All is calm, and still. I have chance to think.

And I'm pondering on Psalm 46:10. And admitting a couple of things

I don't want to be "out-of-control", however I recognise that some situations will be outside my ability to influence. The problem is - I know I can't control it, and I don't want to give up! That's probably why I'm feeling so much stress. Feeling a bit sorry for myself. Is that right?

Am I trying to control things that only God can control?

Psalm 46:10 (New American Standard Bible)
“Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

A is for Anxiety

Worry doesn't solve anything. Instead, I need to replace it with something much better.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6-7

Controls

How I'd love to have a Fast Forward button ... one that will control my day.

You know, when everything just seems to move too slow. Why can't we just do it, get it done and out of the way? Why is it that others don't seem understand the urgency, the need to move quickly?

And yet... sometimes I need a Pause button.

When everything is going far too quickly, I need something that will give me a chance to stop, take a breather, and think it through. Take stock, make good decisions and not simply 'knee-jerk' reactions...

And then, I suppose, while I am thinking about it, I'd like a Rewind button.

It's so I could go back to a situation, and do it differently (somehow). Or perhaps I'd simply go back and experience it all again, but knowing what I know now...

But I don't have any of these controls. And life unfolds, one day at a time. We have one life to live.

Lord, give me wisdom.

Psalm 1: 1-3 (NIV)
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

Remedy For A Heavy Heart

Proverbs 12:25 (NIV)
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.

Do you know what it's like to have a heavy heart?

A heart that is weighed down with problems, with the cares of this world. I'm reliably informed that the use of the term 'heavy' in the sense of 'weighed down with grief or sadness' has been around since 1300.

That's a lot of anxiety, over the years! And that's a big deal - because doctors believe that a high proportion of illness in our society is directly caused by anxiety.

And yet - 80% of the things that we worry about never, ever come to pass.

So, let's be encouragers, wherever and whenever we can. Sharing the weight where we can, lifting the burden with a kind word at the right time.

We've already got enough negativity in the world as it is - without adding to it.

(This is my thousandth post in this blog. Better make it a good one!)

More About Tailspins

It was way back in June 2014 that I last wrote a piece on emotional 'tailspins'. Here is the original link. At the time I promised you a follow-up, so here it is!

One of the triggers that precede 'tailspin' incidents in me (times where my emotions start going awry) is a high degree of overwhelming input. Far too much happening in too short a time, too many moments of high drama, and insufficient time between incidents to effectively work my way through it. I start becoming increasingly insular, starting patterns of social isolation (I start finding excuses to keep away from people) because it's just too painful to take any more input! Prevent me from getting some quality 'me time' and pretty soon I start to 'tailspin'.

One of the things that I've been trying to do in the past few years is to try and identify what’s happening to me before it becomes a problem; before I start hitting that emotional 'tailspin'. It's often a question of continual self-examination: How am I really feeling? Why can't I admit that to others? And so on...

Knowing My Limits

Pushing a boundary or two in my calendar is not an unfamiliar thing. I can sometimes fit in something else, even on a busy day, so why not? Emergencies happen, I just have to deal with them. The difficulty comes when things are already a bit manic, when things just get a little too much to handle. I want to say no (as much for self-preservation as anything), but it's not possible without letting someone down that I care about.

On such days, I end up feeling drained, overtired, ratty. Sure, I pat myself on the back, I've made it through, it's the end of the day - however, tomorrow's coming. A brief respite, at least. Then the problem is knowing how long is enough for me to recharge. It varies so much - particularly on those times when I'm keeping some weird hours. I know what is normal for me, but it is getting tougher to judge if that week has been unsettled, with too many extras.

On extreme days, when my need for periods of solitude becomes vital, I'll end up doing a few things that are quite out of character for me - ignoring phone calls, running away from people's requests, finding any and all opportunities to retreat from personal contact. The fear is those desperate attempts at vital solitude will soon become out-and-out isolation. I'll end up a hermit!

Stopping the Spiral

I am aware that I need to break out of such a cycle. 'No' doesn't work very often (ever tried it?), but there are other ways. Prayer is particularly effective for me. Maybe it’s forcing yourself just to go for a walk to the shops, something a colleague once called a 'microholiday'. Meeting up with a friend for coffee - provided that there is no ulterior motive...

Do something, whatever it takes for stop, and reverse the 'tailspin' spiral.

Comments welcomed.

Meek, Not Weak

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."
Matthew 5:5 (NIV)

I was reminded earlier this week that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Having the discipline to keep yourself in check; keeping your feelings on track. Part of that is learning how to be meek.

The trouble is, so many people now misunderstand that term. Sure, we know from popular culture that Superman's alter ego Clark Kent was 'meek and mild-mannered'. And we know from an old children's song that Jesus was 'meek and mild'... In fact, long-term readers of this blog will realise that I touched on this before; see here.That's when I talked about my passionate, 'positively assertive' self that I frequently have to keep in check...

The whole problem with meekness stems from a simple confusion - we often confuse 'meek' with 'weak'. That's because nobody wants to be seen to be weak...

As I was chewing this over, I received an email this week from Rick Warren which listed the many benefits of Christian meekness:

• The meek will be satisfied (Psalm 22:26)
• God will guide them (Psalm 25:9)
• They will become wise (Proverbs 11:2)
• They will be filled with fresh joy (Isaiah 29:19)

In fact, the Greek word used for meekness is πραΰς, which literally means "God's strength under God's control." It's not weak - not weak at all. In fact, Rick described it like a wild stallion that has now been tamed. All that strength that was there beforehand is still there, but it's now under control.

Awesome, isn't it? And I'm told this is a key way to relieve stress and eliminate worry in your life.

God's absolute power - under His perfect control...

Wow.

A Busy Day

It was just a few hours after I had arrived home after an extremely busy Sunday; it's noteworthy that it was Commitment Sunday. The day was full, rich, and eventful; packed with all sorts of interesting experiences. By bedtime I was physically and emotionally drained; exhausted. The thought of an even busier weekend next week hung heavy on my mind. And suddenly I read the following blog post, highlighted on my Twitter feed:

http://www.ronedmondson.com/2010/08/7-pitfalls-of-being-an-introverted-pastor.html

Suddenly it all started to make some sense and I saw some definite blessings emerge from reflecting on the events of the day. You see, it's been a bit of a revelation to me to discover the fact that I'm an introvert - but this fact has proved to be a vital key to understanding who I am and how I can best serve my Lord in the Church.

I rejoiced in some of the one-to-one conversations that I had yesterday. These were great. I was also successful not to get 'sucked in' to some of the extraverted 'huddles' that are so difficult for me.

I took pains to rest in the afternoon to recuperate before a busy evening. My son (also an introvert) was keen to give me this luxury and I'm grateful to him.

I also now realise that some of the anxiety and bitterness that I have been carrying around for a while have been caused by me not fully embracing who God made me to be - in many cases, it's been about trying to be somebody that I am not.

I am encouraged to know that God is keen to use me just as I am. I want to explore this more in 2014.

What's The Use Of Worrying?

"What's the use of worrying
It never was worth while
So, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile."
(lyrics by George Asaf and Felix Powell)

Okay, let's start 2012 as I mean to go on - forgetting the past, and getting to grips with the future. And along the way, dealing with a few deeply entrenched habits. Here's a good one to start with...

Worry, I am reliably informed, can cause you significant health problems. It raises your blood pressure and can affect your digestion as well as your mind. However, there is a good reason why we act as we do in times of stress...

It's an obvious reaction to an unknown threat - the body goes on high alert. The brain considers a variety of possible outcomes, whereas the body prepares itself for 'fight or flight'. If the 'worry' reflex wasn't there, then I doubt if many species on this planet would have progressed very far. It puts us on alert. It's an automatic response.

However, what sets man apart from the animal kingdom is our ability to reason, to choose how to behave. And, as reasoning beings, we can choose to go our own way - or God's way.

Scripture teaches us to deal with worry in a much different way. We are encouraged to pray. That simple act keeps worry safely under control. In sharing the whole issue with the Lord we find ourselves looking at the issue with fresh eyes. And let's not forget the old saying "a problem shared is a problem halved." Who better to share your problems with?

Try the following structure to your prayers:
1. I'm worried about…
2. ... the worst possible outcome would be ...
3. ... the best thing that could happen would be …
4. Other possibilities to consider?
5. All I can do now is ...
6. .... and leave the rest to God!

I've been encouraged by this simple method of listing all your concerns in an organised manner. It makes it so much easier to subsequently hand them over to God.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength." - Charles Spurgeon

Who'd be a commuter?

According to a report released by the London Evening Standard this past June, 75% of UK workers have a journey to work of less than 30 minutes, but this figure reportedly goes up drastically when we talk about jobs in London. A fifth of City commuters take over an hour to get to work (door to door). That's me, included. The majority of trips to the City are naturally taken on public transport. Of those using their own transport, there's a high proportion of cycles used, doubtless due to the congestion charge imposed in the City Centre. Read more of this report here . By way of comparison, the average daily commute in the States is reportedly about 25 minutes, and as low as a quarter of an hour for Midwest cities like Witchita, Omaha, and Tulsa. New Yorkers have the longest average commute of 38 minutes.

I've been thinking a little about the whole issue of commuting. It's not something I enjoy. I'd far sooner drive. But that's not an option. So I try and use the time I spend sitting on the train wisely. I read books; listen to music on the iPod; write blog entries for this very site. However, when I'm sitting on the train (sometimes standing, on some days you can't even be assured of a seat), stuck between stations, cramped together like cattle and wondering whether the train will get in on time, I wonder...

Who'd be a commuter? If I had a choice... not me.

Fight or Flight?

The title for this blog entry comes from a study of something called 'fight-or-flight response', a phrase first coined a physiologist called Walter Bradford Cannon. He was studying the basic response in animals to a threat, and noted the automatic response to danger that makes changes in the body, making the animal ready for defensive action, either fighting or running away.

In times of stress, hormones like adrenalin are released, speeding up the heart rate, slowing digestion, redirecting blood to the muscles and changing the body's autonomic functions, giving the body a burst of energy and strength.

These same effects can be seen in humans, however in modern society this response can cause problems. Modern day stresses (e.g., a bad day at work) could trigger this response, however neither fight (physical violence) nor flight (running away from the problem) are possible. If an individual is unable to control this response, it may surface as stress - a natural reaction if he or she is faced with a situation where they see no easy escape route.

By its very nature, the fight-or-flight response bypasses the individual's rational mind, so some irrational behaviour may surface, even if the perceived 'threat' does not stand up to close examination. When things get much too 'hot', the individual may do something quite 'out of character'. I think that's why we see increased incidents of irrational behaviour in situations when there is no way out - like incidents of 'road rage' in the middle of a traffic jam

When the 'threat' is gone, the body's autonomic functions are designed to return to normal, but there are recorded cases involving chronic stress where this doesn’t happen. Extreme incidents of stress have been known to cause other psychological problems, or can surface as physical symptoms, such as a rash.

I've been looking at incidents in scripture of extreme stress, and am led once again to the Book of Job. His story is certainly one where no easy escape route was visible! Job suffered more than his fair share of problems and suffering.

Job's reaction to the news that all of his children have been killed in a storm is an eye-opener:

Job 1:21 (New International Version, ©2010)
...and said: "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.”

Is what is generally recalled as the "patience of Job" really a reluctance of Job to accept or come to terms with alarming news? Job certainly started to develop unusual physical symptoms (see later chapters, a rash that covered his body). Unable to fight against this torrent of awful incidents and certainly unable to run away from them, he would be suffering from extremes of stress, and even suffering denial that he is in a really bad place!

The final message from the Book of Job is one of perseverance. It calls on all of us to recognise our own limitations and to put our trust in God in all circumstances, even when we don't understand why. It does not give us any answers as to why there is suffering in this world - but it gives us the encouragement to hang on and not give up. To fight, and not to run away.

It is interesting to note that once Job had finally experienced God and had realised that God had not forsaken him, his hope returned and he began to get better.

Just to complete this entry, there are of course occasions where flight is the correct reaction - we need to flee from situations which may put us into harm:

1 Corinthians 6:18
1 Timothy 6:9-11
2 Timothy 2:22