Over and over again

Did Einstein really define insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"?

Actually - he may not have done. It's often attributed to him, but there's not any solid proof that he actually said it.

However, I have been thinking about this phrase for quite a while now. Because I sometimes catch myself relaxing into the same old familiar ways, hoping that, just for once, the outcome might be subtlely different this time...

However, not this weekend.

These past few days have seen a complete change of pace. A bold strategy, which requires discipline, wisdom and courage. I'm way outside of my comfort zone, some of you will be pleased to hear... :)

It's a bit scary.

But, so far, different is good.

Overthinking - and Dealing With It (part two)

Last time I started looking at my own tendency to overthink. Here's a dozen ideas that I have gathered over the last few weeks about how to deal with this - with a comment or two from myself as I tried to apply them to my own life:

1. Starting the day better.
I'm told that it's important, in any activity, to start well and to finish well. Because of this, I have been taking a serious look at how I wake up in the morning. I usually have the radio coming on first, with a 'get up' alarm at 6am. This gives me a more gentle wake-up in the morning. Early morning DJs and their inane babble fill me with dread, and some talk radio stations are abrasively negative, so my channel of choice is BBC Radio 4 Extra with a little bit of comedy or drama to wake me. I have found I don't cope well with being suddenly woken up - so I have to allow myself at least half an hour from wake up to get up. I need that time. I have my regular chat with God as I walk down to the train; no distractions, no-one else around. I don't start thinking about the news until I get on the train, when I'm a lot more awake, then I then check my emails and Facebook. In go the headphones and I shut out the world until I get to work - I listen to music, or a podcast.

2. Taking care with what I fill my mind
I understand that what I watch, read or listen to, has a great impact on my way of thinking. I'm therefore increasingly careful now what I take in. I'll try to read books, magazines, blogs that are helpful to me. The same applies to listening to music and podcasts. There are certain types of emails that go straight in the trash without me reading them. I'll also try and seek out the company of people who encourage me to grow and support me. Philippians 4:8 (NIV) "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things."

3. Taking a break from music and other media.
I've noticed that I tend to distract myself from life as I go - this is my way of shutting out the world's chatter, which can be deafening or at best distracting. However, I am aware that I sometimes I lose out on the joy of simply being still. If silence is an option, I need to embrace it. It's so easy to drown out the quiet instead of enjoying it. Ditching the TV? Not a problem, that's a big advantage when I go off with my family, camping. However, what about taking a break from social media/emails? That's more tricky. I try to do this over the big public holidays (Easter, Christmas) in order to give more time for my family. Am I (like many) addicted to my social contact with friends from afar that I tune out those around me? Something l need to consider.

4. Taking a 'time-out'
I know when my mind is all over the place, when I need to take that break. A 'time-out' when I'm not thinking straight helps a lot. I can't always come up with a solution 'just like that', which can frustrate me. Taking a break to clear my head can help improve my thinking process. After a proper break, I feel refreshed and am best placed to then resolve the issue. I admit that my first reaction is to work through it, which I know leaves me tired and ratty. It's a weakness that I need to work through. Or, rather, not work through :)

5. Fight procrastination
I've struggled with this for a while. There's so much to do, I can't possibly do it all at the same time. So I have to prioritise. The art is not to fall into the trap of constantly delaying the same job over and over again. Quite apart from the practical reason, repeated delay just gives me an excuse to overthink - working through different scenarios until I end up exhausted. The solution requires a strong mindset and bags of determination. Get it done, move on to the next job.

6. Decision making deadlines
This is one I have found useful. The chief problem with decision making is the tendency to overthink. Letting my mind wander, exploring all the possible outcomes... Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it can be if I'm using it as an excuse for procrastination. So, I'll try now to set myself a time-limit. If it's a small decision, a minute or two. If it's a big one - till the end of the day.

7. Exercise
Why not go for a walk? The exercise will not only boost my health but can also help me organise my thoughts. Working out regularly can help arrange my time more efficiently, some say it can strengthen my will and determination. Hopefully one to try now the weather is improving...

8. Living in the now
Being content right now is a great thing to achieve. Like most people, I tend to worry about things that have already happened (dwelling on the past) or about the potential outcome of things that are going to happen (dwelling on the future). What is more valuable than living right now, in the present?

9. I can't change everything
My life isn't perfect. There are at least a hundred things in my life that I would change today, if I only had the power/ money/ resources to do it. But I can't. Trying to control everything isn’t going to work - in fact, it will hold you back. Thinking things through around fifty or sixty times isn't good, in fact it's a form of control obsession. Life is meant to be lived, not controlled or planned to the last detail. I need to work on changing one thing, then build upon it and move on to something else.

10. Don’t think of what can go wrong, but what can go right
What is the most likely outcome? If I persist in thinking about it, I'm just likely to make myself more anxious. Because I tend to dwell on the negative, rather than the positive. Too much negative thinking deprives me of the possibility of unleashing my true potential and daring to dream big. Not sure about this one...

11. Setting a physical boundary to work.
I rarely talk about my own work in this blog - however I'm just about to break that rule. This is so I can let know know that I work for The Salvation Army, which can cause difficulties as this is also my church. I need to explain this to show how difficult it can be to 'switch off' from work, when it's also an important part of your personal and social life. Setting boundaries between work and home can therefore be tricky, as demarkation lines get blurred all the time. Switching off is therefore terribly difficult because of this. So I need to set rules. I read recently of someone who set himself such a rule - he would stop thinking about work when he passed the bridge on his commute home. After that point, he couldn't think about work any longer. It's tough - but I'm going to have a go at this. Not sure how successful I'll be...

12. Ending the day better
It is surprisingly easy to get lost in TV or in social media right up to the time I need to go to bed. I know that isn't good for me - my mind keeps racing for a long time after my head hits the pillow. I've read research that shows TV or computer screen time immediately before bed interferes with sleep. Right, so off goes the computer, the phone goes on charge and I now pick up a good book to relax until my mind relaxes enough to allow me to rest. That also takes a while, so I leave half an hour to wind down at night...

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To end with, here's a great quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

It's A Wonderful Life - Really (part two)

Last time, I explored a little about how life can often get more than a little uncomfortable for a Christian. However, we are comforted by the fact that we don't face these things on our own...

Whoever said that following Jesus was going to be easy? Well, they were wrong. Those of us who follow the teachings of Jesus are called to be disciples. The term 'disciple' is derived from the Greek word mathetes, which means a pupil (of a teacher) or an apprentice (to a craftsman), And by necessity, a disciple undergoes discipline (it's from the same Latin word). That means commitment, and that means training.

This discipline doesn't mean that God is angry with you. Quite the opposite. Jesus became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21), so that we are no longer condemned (Romans 8:1).

No, this is more like military basic training. Combat situations are difficult to handle, so training has to be tough. You need to be prepared for all situations, Troops need to be ready to follow orders instantly -  it could save their life and that of their comrades.

Jesus can be just as relentless in his training. As mentioned last time, we may even be tempted to think that He is cruel because of the amount of pain He puts us through. Training can be hard - because life can be hard. He wants you to trust Him - in all things - at all times.

Think of a couple of experiences in your own life - the ones you learnt from most. How many of those experiences were comfortable? None, probably.  How often did you want to give up? How often did you wonder if it was worth it? How often did you get mad at your instructor for pushing you beyond what you thought necessary?

Some teachers give up on their students if they don’t get it after one or two attempts. In military basic training, those who can't hack it are forced to quit or are 'washed out'.

God isn't like that – He perseveres with us, no matter how long it takes us to understand his message. "They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness." (Hebrews 12:10).

He really does care for us. He wants us to be comfortable. He wants your ultimate comfort so much, that He will make you very uncomfortable in order to give it to you.

Does that make sense?

Meek, Not Weak

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."
Matthew 5:5 (NIV)

I was reminded earlier this week that one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Having the discipline to keep yourself in check; keeping your feelings on track. Part of that is learning how to be meek.

The trouble is, so many people now misunderstand that term. Sure, we know from popular culture that Superman's alter ego Clark Kent was 'meek and mild-mannered'. And we know from an old children's song that Jesus was 'meek and mild'... In fact, long-term readers of this blog will realise that I touched on this before; see here.That's when I talked about my passionate, 'positively assertive' self that I frequently have to keep in check...

The whole problem with meekness stems from a simple confusion - we often confuse 'meek' with 'weak'. That's because nobody wants to be seen to be weak...

As I was chewing this over, I received an email this week from Rick Warren which listed the many benefits of Christian meekness:

• The meek will be satisfied (Psalm 22:26)
• God will guide them (Psalm 25:9)
• They will become wise (Proverbs 11:2)
• They will be filled with fresh joy (Isaiah 29:19)

In fact, the Greek word used for meekness is πραΰς, which literally means "God's strength under God's control." It's not weak - not weak at all. In fact, Rick described it like a wild stallion that has now been tamed. All that strength that was there beforehand is still there, but it's now under control.

Awesome, isn't it? And I'm told this is a key way to relieve stress and eliminate worry in your life.

God's absolute power - under His perfect control...

Wow.

Shhh - It's A Secret!

(post lost!)

Excuses, Excuses...

Matthew 8:18-22 (New International Version)

18 When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake.

19 Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."

20 Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

21 Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

22 But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."

Followers of Jesus Christ are challenged to seriously consider the cost of their commitment - I've touched on this topic in earlier blogs. If we believe in what we say we believe then Christ needs to come above everything else. Discipleship requires discipline. Excuses shouldn't get in the way! The above passage gives us further food for thought on this subject. In this modern day and age, the request made by the disciple (verse 21) seems more than reasonable. After all, respect for one's parents is an important duty. However, let's look a little deeper at the context... the following paragraphs follow a number of hours research!

In Jewish customs and traditions, the deceased has to be buried within 24 hours, with a period of mourning for seven days afterwards. There are some very practical reasons for this - remember that Israel is a country with a hot climate. Burial (usually placing the body in a cave or tomb) will usually take place on the same day as death.

Most groups of scholars interpret the disciple's statement as an excuse; stating that he wanted to wait until his father, who was unwell, had died. That might mean a delay of days, or even weeks... Another interpretation that I read recently was that the disciple may be talking about a secondary burial, where the bones of a relative are moved from the tomb into an Ossuary, which could be as long as a year or so after death. If that was the case here, that could mean a delay of a few months...

Whichever the interpretation that you favour, the issue is all too clear. Christ's rather direct statement is not intended as an instruction to ignore family ties or obligations, to not show compassion. That would be contrary to other passages of scripture (e.g. Luke 7:11-15). No, this statement is in response to a man who's priorities were a little vague, unclear. There was a reason why he just couldn't fulfil the obligation. The disciple said he was keen to follow Christ's way, but when it came to the crunch, there was the excuse, delaying that tough final decision as to whether to follow Him. Christ knew that - and knew that there were others who could have performed that task for him. Those who weren't called to the sort of new life that Jesus offered. In fact, those who were 'spiritually dead'...

It's a bit of a cliché of mine, however I know that there are a thousand reasons why we should do anything, and a thousand reasons why we shouldn't. Perhaps it might be whether to go to church today, or to volunteer to help someone. If you want to find an excuse not to do it, they are pretty easy to find. However, deep down, you will know whether that reason is justified. Oh, and of course He will know...

What's your choice?

The Fear...

"I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
Cause I'm being taken over by The Fear..."
Lyrics from 'The Fear', written by Lily Allen and Greg Kurstin

I've been looking closely at the words to Lily Allen's 'The Fear' for something I am planning for this year's SAFE School of Music & Drama (more later), and it's become something of a challenge to me to constantly push back my own boundaries - these limits aren't often my own, but are often set by others, telling me what I can't do, what I shouldn't do... even how I should feel about things. No wonder so many people these days echo the words, "I don't know how I meant to feel any more..."

As a Christian I am quite aware of my own failings, but the words that I hear from my Saviour are not telling me what I can't do, but what I can do - or at least I could do with just a little more courage.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New Living Translation)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

The Thief Of Time

Sounds like a good title for an adventure novel, doesn't it?* Our nemesis this week, the dastardly Thief of Time. He is determined to rob you of your ability to deal effectively with anything, by stealing all of your available hours. There simply isn't the time to stop him! (*in fact, Terry Pratchett has already used this for a title of one of his Discworld novels. Good man!)

Of course, this is a reference to procrastination, a habit that some people have of putting tasks off to 'tomorrow'. However, if you are not careful, 'tomorrow' simply never comes...

Interestingly, this is not by and large due to laziness; the studies I have undertaken on the subject reveals that this behaviour is more often triggered by issues other than sheer sloth. Simply speaking, chalking the problem up to laziness may not be the answer... Other factors may include stress, overwhelming emotions, lack of motivation, lack of discipline, and of course poor time management.

More later...

Soldiership - part two: Integrity

"I will uphold Christian integrity in every area of my life, allowing nothing in thought, word or deed that is unworthy, unclean, untrue, profane, dishonest or immoral. "

This is where we get down to a particularly challenging aspect of soldiership, which is how your spiritual life fits in with your daily life. In a previous blog I quoted a definition of Integrity as "doing the right thing even though there's nobody looking". This definition has particularly helped me get to grips with this particular aspect. It's easy to keep your commitment sitting in the Hall on a Sunday but not quite so easy late at night at home during the week! Living up to Christian standards every day of the week can be a challenge to any Christian, but it's particularly true of Salvationists who tend to be very visible in their own community (this can be turned to an advantage - more on this later). The secret of success is in personal discipline... which needs to be the subject of a separate blog entry...

It's also very interesting when you dig a little further into this subject, by turning the negatives that we need to avoid into positives that we need to embrace. We need to be pursuing things that have merit, are clean, true, consecrated, honest and moral. For a 'seeker after truth' (as I often style myself) I don't have a problem with pursuing truth - however one person's opinion of 'truth' can be so different from someone else's!! It can be so confusing... wrong can often seem right...

So here's the great challenge - and it's particularly a challenge in the 21st Century! Ask yourself whether each and every aspect of your life fits those positive headings. That TV show - that magazine - that pastime - that regular habit. And if you have difficulty confirming whether that particular thing is true, or clean, or moral - perhaps there's some doubt - then why not take steps to give it up? It could well be leading you away from God - or at least preventing you from following Him to the fullest extent.

Interesting, therefore, to see that this sort of self-examination was encouraged by William Booth for his soldiers ever since the earliest days of the Army. Maintaining Christian integrity is therefore a constant battle for all Christians - but then Salvation soldiers are not afraid of a bit of a battle...

"We are called to take His light
To a world where wrong seems right."
(a line from 'People Need The Lord' by Steve Green)