Over and over again

Did Einstein really define insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"?

Actually - he may not have done. It's often attributed to him, but there's not any solid proof that he actually said it.

However, I have been thinking about this phrase for quite a while now. Because I sometimes catch myself relaxing into the same old familiar ways, hoping that, just for once, the outcome might be subtlely different this time...

However, not this weekend.

These past few days have seen a complete change of pace. A bold strategy, which requires discipline, wisdom and courage. I'm way outside of my comfort zone, some of you will be pleased to hear... :)

It's a bit scary.

But, so far, different is good.

Risky Business

There's been a lot of discussion over the past week about vulnerability. It has came up in conversation; as part of this week's Bible Study; as a topic in a recent podcast. It's been cropping up pretty much everywhere! 

And I know it's a regular challenge to me!

I'm quite a private person, as I think most of you might know. I try and keep myself to myself. However, I'm also called to make a difference in this world. Which means I need to do a few things that can make me uncomfortable. It's a risky business...

Can these two aspects of my personality coexist?

You see, I don't particularly want to be vulnerable. I feel vulnerable because I've been hurt before - by people who should have known better! However, I have to make that sacrifice if I am to be true to myself. I want to reach out to help others. And this means leaving myself wide open. 

Please don't abuse this.

“I want to experience your vulnerability but I don’t want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I’m drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine.” – Brené Brown)

The Times They Are A-Changing

"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'... "
(Lyrics of the song by Bob Dylan)

This post was inspired by my son John's recent post on his blog (now, where is that Watchmen DVD?).

Yes, things change. In fact, they never, ever stay the same. And time often moves far too quickly!

However, it's only becomes a really big deal when something that is good or useful in your life comes to an end. We mourn it, don't we? Often, we then take the trouble to try and recreate or rebuild it. Sometimes, in vain - it's gone for good. And we have to wait for the next opportunity... which hopefully is just around the corner.

And we don't really mind when bad or troublesome things reach their end. In fact, we are keen to celebrate their passing. It's party time!

The art is learning to embrace change when it happens. Or making it happen, when it doesn't. I blogged about this recently, here.

That's where I struggle - the whole concept of making things happen. It's tough. Some days it feels tougher than others. It sometimes feels like I'm pushing a boulder uphill (hence the picture). Which is interesting - when I went to the 'net to find a picture to illustrate this entry, I got into the Greek myth of Sisyphus, which is where we get the boulder reference from.  His punishment was having to endlessly roll a boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down again. Modern scholars say this has become an analogy for 21st Century life.

Is that how I feel? If I can change anything - can I change that feeling...

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.(The Serenity Prayer)

How did it get so late so soon?

It's night before it's afternoon.

December is here before it's June.

My goodness how the time has flewn.

How did it get so late so soon?
Dr Seuss

Seeking Inspiration

I must admit that I wasn't feeling particularly good on New Year's Day. I was still tired, recovering from a busy New Year's Eve where I strived to be as pleasant as I could be while feeling totally like a fish out of water. Social gatherings are always so draining. I had got out of one party successfully earlier that day on some pretext but there was no way I could avoid this second... By 1am on New Year's Day I was running on empty, so we made our excuses and left...

It was now New Year's Day morning, 8am. I crawled out of bed and made tea for my wife and a large coffee for myself. I was looking for something awesome to lift me up and set me off on the right path for the New Year. I had another party to go to that night (this was a family do, couldn't cry off this one either!) so I desperately needed some meaningful input!

The most inspiring thing on the telly at the time was "Bee Movie", an animated tale about bees, work ethics and the dangers of litigation - a distraction, but only for a short while. Mostly spotting which character actors were doing the voices...

I took time to read my emails. Topics were as you might expect - primarily related to goal setting for 2015, or what was on offer in the January sales. There were a large number of people on Facebook wishing everyone well for the New Year. Then the computer rebelled, kept falling over, and I ended up shutting it down. A new PC for the New Year looks like it's becoming an essential.

In the end I started out on the kitchen cleaning and buried myself deeply in the task. I ended up spending the best of the morning on it.

A blog post that I found during the course of my afternoon's sit down revealed (at last!) a little nugget of wisdom from J.R.R. Tolkien:

"Still 'round the corner there may wait, a new road or secret gate."

This comes from a poem by Tolkien, I've now found the whole thing here. At last, something a bit more inspirational!

Finally, I found myself going back to dwell on the Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971):

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I'm still seeking. There's a whole bunch of things I need to change, it's just that some things seem impossible to change, no matter how I try. But perhaps I haven't found the 'secret gate' yet...

I know that nothing is impossible for God, and He knows the things that I struggle with. I bend His ear with them often enough.

The good stuff - it is still out there, however somethimes it takes quite a while to find it. I'll keep searching. :)

Run Away!

I spend quite a while every day pondering interesting subjects to write about in this blog.

I don't ever have a difficulty in putting the actual words down on paper/tablet/screen. No, the art is in finding that suitable topic. At any one time I have twenty or thirty 'possible' entries floating around in my head. I currently have seven posts in draft, most at various stages of readiness, not quite ready to publish. Once I start writing, I spend absolutely ages changing one phrase or another, until I'm ready to hit the button and let you see it.

There was a particular issue that I wanted to address, but airing this topic would never be easy. Dealing with it head on would give me more problems than it would solve. Nothing in this blog is ever NSFW and I want to keep it that way!

Suddenly, an email hit my mailbox. It was from Rick Warren and was entitled "Don't Fight Temptation - Flee It!" Oh wow - that's how I can approach it! The email started out by quoting the following bible verse: "Be alert. Continue strong in the faith. Have courage, and be strong."(1 Corinthians 16:13, NCV)

Whatever habit, weakness or addiction that you or I may face; the first stage of beating it is to open your eyes to the problem. To identify that you have, in fact, got a problem. And  to admit that it’s not a sin to be tempted. The trouble comes when you give in to temptation.

Now, here's the point. Our society makes a great virtue out of being strong. Being an overcomer -  winning out against tremendous odds. Being first. The problem comes when your strength or willpower fails and you stumble, trip up, give in. You feel a total failure! You pick yourself up, try again. And you could fail again!

The other thing that modern-day society excels in is entirely the opposite to that. They'll tell you, actually, it's okay. If it feels good, do it! So many people try the first way, and then sit for the rest of their lives in the second camp. "I've tried and failed. It's too hard. So I'm just going to sit back and live with it. And who says it's wrong anyway..."

There is, in fact, a third way. We need to flee temptation. We need to run away.

Now, running away is not a terribly popular thing to do. It feels like failure - but it is, in fact removing yourself from an enormous problem. Rick's email quoted one of Saddleback Church’s pastors, a man called John Baker, who said: “You hang around the barber shop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut.”

Too true! If you want to quit drinking, you need to stop going down the pub to have your lunchtime meal! If you start feeling awful because you're tempted to watch less than wholesome late night TV channels, don’t have those channels any more - use your parental blocks to remove the problem.

You need to know what tempts you, when it tempts you, and where it tempts you. Then -  steer clear of those situations.

It might be a matter of who tempts you... The Bible says "Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character"(1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). There may be some people that you need to keep away from.

Sometimes you don’t need to fight it; you need to run away from it. Run after the good stuff in life instead.

Character-building

(ˈkærɪktəbɪldɪŋ)  adjective

that strengthens certain good or useful traits in a person's character especially self-reliance, endurance and courage.

I am reliably informed that certain difficulties in life are good for you. They build character. The process can be painful and may test many areas of your life to breaking point, and even beyond.

The important thing to do in such circumstances is to remain faithful to what you believe, hold on to truth.

Sometimes, you just have to hold on. The difficulties can't last forever.

Romans 5:1-5 (ESV)
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Living A Changed Life

The passages of scripture that I have read over this summer about Jesus' life and teachings continue to challenge me, making me feel decidedly uneasy on occasions. And that, I understand, is a good thing... because there's so much He has to teach me about living life... differently. There's always something new to learn.

In fact, He has so much to teach each of us... if you have ears to hear...

So, after my summer break, it's time to focus once again on leaving my own personal comfort zone - setting out on hitting some of my goals for the future. Picking myself up from the failures of the past (and there's been quite a few in recent weeks) and trying again. Because, next time, the results may be different...

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." ― Winston Churchill

"Instead of doing nothing because I’m overwhelmed, today I will do something, even if it’s small, because it will be one step closer to my goal." - Anon

Target Setting: Update

I've been giving some prayerful consideration to target setting recently (as regular readers to this blog will recall) and have begun prioritising, clearing a few obvious stumbling blocks out of the way, in order to see "the wood from the trees". I've been advised to categorise my task list into:

• A: Urgent and Important
• B: Not urgent and Important
• C: Urgent and Not important
• D: Not urgent and Not important

I've not found this an easy thing to do. I've even found that the very act of sifting through the list again and again can distract you from dealing with the list! However, I wrote my initial to-do list last week and was impressed that I struck off 95% of this by the end of the week! And I had to deal with a Class A task recently, one that I certainly won't forget in a hurry, I'm clearly being led through a steep learning curve in double-quick time!

Courage!

Psalm 25:5 (NIV)

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long."

Defeating Discouragement

Nehemiah 4:10 (NIV)
Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, "The strength of the labourers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall."

I felt so lousy - but couldn't put my finger on exactly why. I just felt so down when I walked through the door on that winter evening. Sure, perhaps it was just the weather; that may be part of the reason. However, the day had otherwise been a good one, everything had gone well. So why did I feel so low that night?

I decided to fight back, not to give in to it as I may have done previously. Reaching out to my Lord in prayer, I looked with Him for ways to turn this feeling around, to turn this negative into a positive. This discouragement would not defeat me today! If anything else, perhaps it could become a blog entry...

I took some pointers from a study on Nehemiah 4:10 as I tried to understand some of the reasons I felt so grotty...

Like the workers in the verse, I'd worked pretty hard over the last day or two, so doubtless part of it was possibly that I really needed a break, to "recharge the batteries".

And then I considered the rubble, getting in the way. Was there rubble in my life that needed clearing out? Before the work on the new could continue, the remains of the old needed to be cleared away.

I picked myself up, started sifting through the pieces of the day as I rested. Pretty soon I felt so much better. Ready to start again tomorrow.

Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Take Courage!

It's said that identifying the problem is half-way to solving it. Good. If that's so, at last I'm half-way to sorting out one of mine. Potentially, a big one.

What I need to do now is to find the bottle within myself to push my way through it. You see, the problem is paralysis. Not of the physical kind, but mentally, emotionally. In some circumstances (which I can't go into) I can get almost paralysed by fear. It's probably fear of the current situation; fear of the unknown; doubtless fear of tedium because I've faced this situation so many times before! All of that seems to be rooting my feet to the floor.

I need to deal with this. I need the courage just to inch along, like someone on the edge of a precipice. Taking small steps, maybe, but steps nonetheless to get this issue behind me and move along.

I need to take courage!

I will be a warrior, fighting the good fight,
Battling ’gainst all evil in the cause of right;
Jesus, give me courage, make me true and brave
That the lost and dying I may help to save.
(SASB 859, verse 2 - Gladys M. Taylor)

Bravery and Foolishness

I've been pondering a lot today about bravery. It seems to me that one man's bravery is another man's foolishness.

One definition I read said that bravery was acting in spite of fear. Foolishness is acting in the same situation without fear.

Here's some more quotations:

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man. All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are, the more they are frightened. - George S. Patton

Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are travelling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. - Meg Cabot

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. - Dorothy Bernard

Giving Up

I've blogged a fair bit in the past few months about 'not giving up'. Right now I have to think about doing exactly the opposite.

I don't mean surrendering, about deciding not to fight when things get difficult to bear. It's about giving up certain things that may be holding me back from making progress in other areas. A 'tactical withdrawal' on certain fronts. In this I am assured of encouragement and prayers. Some of these who are supporting me are regular readers of this blog and know the tasks at hand.

But where to start? Where to cut first?

I've given myself a deadline of this Friday to come up with a list of areas to work on. That's a good day to pick. Those of you who are praying people, please ask for some brave and bold plans to be made - and then for the courage to put them into action.

Encouragement

1 Peter 1:6-7 (New International Version, ©2011)
6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

I've been reading up on encouragement recently, and note that the operative part of that is the word 'courage' - something that I blogged on recently. It’s so easy to get disheartened, discouraged: particularly when things are going awry, friends let you down. We're told in such circumstances to rejoice - not about the bad things that are happening, but because God can use it for good, work through you.

He gives you endurance. Keep on believing; hang in there, persevere!

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger - Friedrich Nietzsche

Courage!

It was my turn to give the bible reading at the end of Singers practice this week and I chose Joshua 1, one of my favourite passages, as it speaks of being "strong and courageous". This thought has stayed with me for the past few days, throughout one of the busiest periods in my workplace.

It was pointed out that this phrase is repeated (with slight differences in emphasis) three times in this passage, just to underline it. To help us remember that "the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Or indeed whatever you do.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear - Ambrose Redmoon

What's The Point?

I have always liked listening to the opinions of others. This all started in my teens, when I started listening to late night talk radio; I have found it helpful to shape my own views by listening to extremes of opinion. Nowadays, I seem to find myself reading other people's blogs. This tends to follow the same extremes!

One main theme that seems to recur in blog writing (usually when people have had a hard day, and are letting off steam) is to question the meaning of existence, crying out to those who want to hear "What's The Point?".

I have bad days, too. Tuesday was pretty awful in many ways; today has just been frantic! However, I find that my beliefs equip me with the tools that I need to see me through the bad times. It doesn't cushion you from these extremes. Just because you have a faith, doesn't mean that you're immune. We have the same bad days as others. How we handle these days is the key to victory. Just listen to this:

Ephesians 6:10-13 (New International Version)

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

11 Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

13 Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Here's a collection of quotations that I have picked from these other blogs on the same subject.

"Life is mostly froth and bubble,

Two things stand like stone,

Kindness in another's trouble,

Courage in your own."- Adam Lindsay Gordon

"What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?" - George Eliot (a pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans Cross)

"Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us." - Thomas L. Holdcroft

There's a truth or two in there, if you look for it. And if anyone is listening...

Bottle

Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I've had such a great weekend. God has really blessed me - and is still blessing me as I am writing this. However, there's still some things I need to get to grips with. For example, the one thing that I really need at this moment to get a bit of bottle.

'Bottle' in colloquial British usage is used as a popular synonym for courage. It refers to one's capacity to cope with demanding or difficult situations. You said that you need to get some bottle in order to do something unpleasant or tricky. When you 'lose your bottle' and decide to give up, you are said to have 'bottle'd out'.

You will have probably realised that I am not adverse to trying new things, but sometimes there are times where the circumstances simply stop me dead in my tracks. After some thought I find it's not the new things that give me pause - I am keen to embrace them - but I find it's the old things. Little feelings of dread and despondency, confidence-shaking situations which tell me I'm not going to succeed, that things are going to go badly.

Paul spoke of a 'thorn in his side'. Perhaps that is mine...

As I have said before, this weekend has been a very positive one, with many highlights and some tremendous answers to prayer. Despite this, there have been lots of times when the 'old nature' seems to kick in. Standing firm and holding on in this particular aspect of my life is very difficult.

I just need a bit of bottle to deal with this, and all will be well... prayer support is welcomed.

"Courage brother, do not stumble,
though thy path be dark as night:
There is a star to guide the humble,
Trust in God, and do the right.
Let the road be dark and dreary
and its end far out of sight.
Face it bravely, strong or weary.
Trust in God, and do the right."
SASB 716 (Norman Macleod)

The Fear...

"I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
And when do you think it will all become clear?
Cause I'm being taken over by The Fear..."
Lyrics from 'The Fear', written by Lily Allen and Greg Kurstin

I've been looking closely at the words to Lily Allen's 'The Fear' for something I am planning for this year's SAFE School of Music & Drama (more later), and it's become something of a challenge to me to constantly push back my own boundaries - these limits aren't often my own, but are often set by others, telling me what I can't do, what I shouldn't do... even how I should feel about things. No wonder so many people these days echo the words, "I don't know how I meant to feel any more..."

As a Christian I am quite aware of my own failings, but the words that I hear from my Saviour are not telling me what I can't do, but what I can do - or at least I could do with just a little more courage.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New Living Translation)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Be Strong

Joshua 1:6-9 (New International Version)
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Serenity

I've been contemplating and praying The Serenity Prayer today. This is the common name for an originally untitled prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, and is often used by various groups, including members of Alcoholics Anonymous programmes. Niebuhr wrote the prayer as early as 1934, and became popular during the Forties. I have it displayed in the porch of my house!

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen.