Saturday Catch-Up - 30th March 2019

It's 2:15am as I sit and draft this blog post. It's a quiet night in the Winter Night Shelter, and all the guests are fast asleep. It's my last overnight duty as the Shelter shuts on Sunday.  I have the dulcet tones of Kate Bush on my headphones as I sit in the dark, blogging. I had quite a busy day today at work, however I achieved everything I set out to do. It's my turn to give something back tonight.

I am so full of energy, despite the weird hours I need to keep because of the shelter.

And I am feeling amazingly content.

I feel really blessed tonight.

The Grass Is Greener...

Do you know the cliche:

“The grass is always greener on the other side?”

Yes, I know the phrase is hackneyed;  overused. But it's a good way to introduce a couple of comments on the subject of discontentment.

You see, it's all about the pursuit of something better - something that you are currently missing out on. Perhaps it's something owned by your neighbours, so literally on the other side of the fence. They have the latest thing - so you need it too! So, rather than you striving to reach a point of stability or satisfaction in your present surroundings or situation, you're looking elsewhere. 

It may not even be a possession. You may be looking for another place to live, another job, another partner.

The problem? Often, you simply don't have the whole picture. This "greener grass" thing may only be a fantasy. Sure, it's terrific to daydream for a while about a new house or car, but when you start telling yourself that its acquisition is the only way you're ever going to be happy, that's dangerous thinking.

Pretty soon, all you'll do is wake every morning with the same dream.  You change that one thing, everything will be so much better.  And part of this fantasy is that everything else will stay the same. 

And if you do it? If it ends up happening? Sure, there is a “honeymoon period" where everything is OK. And then, the niggles return.  Something else doesn't fit. You're off again. Putting the blame for your own discontent onto something or someone else. Perhaps, you'll never be satisfied...

The other evening, one of my officers shared with me this reworded phrase:

"The grass is always greener where you water it."

Think of your lawn. The grass always starts out a nice shade of green, however its beauty fades with use. The lawn needs to be maintained in order to stay nice. It needs cutting, weeding. In hot weather it needs regular watering.

The dull green (or even brown) grass on our side of the fence shows us areas where we need to do some work. It would be so much greener if we take time and effort to nurture it. The neighbour's green grass on the other side of the fence (which we assume comes with little or no effort) is an illusion.

Also, ask yourself: Will the grass ever be green enough for you?

One to ponder on.

Seeking Inspiration

I must admit that I wasn't feeling particularly good on New Year's Day. I was still tired, recovering from a busy New Year's Eve where I strived to be as pleasant as I could be while feeling totally like a fish out of water. Social gatherings are always so draining. I had got out of one party successfully earlier that day on some pretext but there was no way I could avoid this second... By 1am on New Year's Day I was running on empty, so we made our excuses and left...

It was now New Year's Day morning, 8am. I crawled out of bed and made tea for my wife and a large coffee for myself. I was looking for something awesome to lift me up and set me off on the right path for the New Year. I had another party to go to that night (this was a family do, couldn't cry off this one either!) so I desperately needed some meaningful input!

The most inspiring thing on the telly at the time was "Bee Movie", an animated tale about bees, work ethics and the dangers of litigation - a distraction, but only for a short while. Mostly spotting which character actors were doing the voices...

I took time to read my emails. Topics were as you might expect - primarily related to goal setting for 2015, or what was on offer in the January sales. There were a large number of people on Facebook wishing everyone well for the New Year. Then the computer rebelled, kept falling over, and I ended up shutting it down. A new PC for the New Year looks like it's becoming an essential.

In the end I started out on the kitchen cleaning and buried myself deeply in the task. I ended up spending the best of the morning on it.

A blog post that I found during the course of my afternoon's sit down revealed (at last!) a little nugget of wisdom from J.R.R. Tolkien:

"Still 'round the corner there may wait, a new road or secret gate."

This comes from a poem by Tolkien, I've now found the whole thing here. At last, something a bit more inspirational!

Finally, I found myself going back to dwell on the Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971):

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I'm still seeking. There's a whole bunch of things I need to change, it's just that some things seem impossible to change, no matter how I try. But perhaps I haven't found the 'secret gate' yet...

I know that nothing is impossible for God, and He knows the things that I struggle with. I bend His ear with them often enough.

The good stuff - it is still out there, however somethimes it takes quite a while to find it. I'll keep searching. :)

Pruning and Reviewing

"Lord, I would place my hand in Thine,
Nor ever murmur nor repine;
Content, whatever lot I see,
Since ’tis my God that leadeth me."
(lyrics from 'He Leadeth Me' by Joseph H Gilmore)

I've had the privilege to sit back and take stock of my life lately. I've needed to carve out some time in my schedule, so I've had to savagely cut back on my commitments to enable me to do so, but I've now managed to 'ring-fence' off some precious 'me-time' to enable me to do so.

And I've asked myself - and my Lord - some pretty hard questions.

• When I first set out on my Christian walk those many years ago, did I ever think it would work out quite like this?
• And at that particular starting point, would I have ever had dreamt that I would do some of the exciting things that I have done?
• Am I truly content with where I am at the moment? (see above)
• Am I truly willing to allow more severe 'pruning' to allow me to grow further? Can I withstand the pain? 
• How do I resolve the contradictions - a strong sense of wanting to take a particular path, yet the appearance of a solid brick wall preventing me from taking it (note: at the moment...)
• So, what now?

This review is a work in progress.

Empty Handed

I was awake at well before 6am this morning, so I was quickly up and dressed and waiting for my breakfast.

I was away from home on business, so couldn't eat until the restaurant opened, so I took the time to walk in the grounds of the hotel, listening to the birdsong. I love the peace of the countryside and the stillness of the dawn, and so wanted the most of this experience.

At that time of the morning I was totally alone. Just me... and God. I felt myself relax, releasing all of my tensions, my burdens, till I was totally empty-handed before my Lord.

And the words suddenly came - straight from Stuart K Hine's terrific hymn...

"When through the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze...

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to thee...

How Great Thou Art."

It was terrific this morning. An unbeatable start to the day.

More, please. :)

Contentment - In Search Of A Definition

Lord, I would place my hand in thine,
nor ever murmur nor repine;
Content, whatever lot I see,
since 'tis my God that leadeth me.
(He Leadeth Me, verse 3 - words by Joseph H. Gilmore)

Thinking back once again on the subject of contentment, I discover that it's a different concept from happiness, which is something that I guess that most people strive for. Understandable, I suppose - remember, it's engrained into our modern culture. Even the United States Declaration of Independence states that there are certain rights that we each have - among these are 'Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness'!

No, what we are talking about here is something much more subtle. It's about learning to be content in your current situation. A situation which might best be described as 'less than perfect'. A situation that is made much more bearable because you are not alone. Christ is there with you.

And He is with you when you seek to help others, bringing that same sense of contentment to others when you minister to them, in His name.

1 Timothy 6:6-8 (The Message)
A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough.

"The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment." - Doug Larson

Seeking Perfection - part two

Part two of my thread on perfection centres more on the subject I touched on briefly last time - that of procrastination. Seeking to be better in any area of your life is often a challenge, so it's no wonder that people so often put things off. Like tidying that cluttered room in your house! Sometimes it's a case of not knowing where to start - sometimes it's trying to finding the right time, the right circumstances.

The recent email about seeking perfection (remember my blog entry last time?) recalled a talk on the subject by Pastor Rick Warren, leader of a church in Southern California. A procrastinator, he said, is nothing more than a frustrated perfectionist. The logic went something like this:

• A perfectionist is convinced to prove his or her worth by being perfect - to seeking to attain perfection.
• The fear of being unable to achieve that prefection leads to procrastination.
• Procrastination eventually leads to paralysis. You know what you need to do, even how to do it, but because you can't complete that first part well enough, you end up doing nothing.

Do you end up doing nothing because you feel what you do would be less than perfect? There is a way forward...

1. Realise that no one is perfect - no-one but God. You don't be afraid to make a mistake. Remember the quotation from Albert Einstein:  "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. "

2. Let go and let God! If it is outside of your control, then why not let God handle those things. It takes a lot of faith to let go of those things over which we have no control. Faith like that described in Hebrews 11:1.

3. Learn to be content in your current situation. Life can't be lived in some far-off perfect future. It must be lived today, which means in less than perfect circumstances. Accept that. Love the moment, and enjoy the journey. Dump the pressure that says you must be perfect to be accepted. Just listen to the following quotation: "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." (Edward Everett Hale)

The bottom line is - if you are seeking perfection, forget it. What you need to do is seek progress. Why not try and take the first step. Even if you fall over, you have probably gained a couple of steps in the process. Then pick youself up and take another, and another. Before you know it, you will be making terrific progress. Not perfection, but progress!

If You Want It - It's Yours

Are you somewhat sad and wish that you were happy?
Real contentment has a special set of laws;
Joy is not for sale, it’s only found in Jesus;
If you want it—it’s yours!
Chorus
If you want it—it’s yours!
If you want it—it’s yours!
Do you want the power to be a better person?
If you want it—it’s yours!

SASB 244, v3 and chorus (John Gowans)

Philippians 4:11 (New International Version)
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Regular readers of my blog will understand my retiscence to use the word 'happiness' when considering where I currently am in my walk of faith. I have seen some great opportunities for service come my way in recent years, however I'm not where I need to be... yet. Some 'strongholds' remain despite much effort and prayer to eradicate them. In some of these areas I am aware that a change needs to be made from within. It's a change in my own attitude of mind that is needed for me to progress, to achieve what I seek. However, if I cannot achieve 'happiness', can I at least achieve 'contentment', the word that I used in a recent blog?

I've blogged on happiness before, but never on contentment. Psychologists say that the formula for happiness is: pleasure + engagement + meaning. Who am I to argue with that? However, contentment seems to be subtlely different. One definition for contentment refers to a lasting quality that has more to do with achieving peace of mind than actual pleasure.

Part of the key to unlocking this is found in General Gowans' lyrics, mentioned at the top of this blog entry. 'Real contentment has a special set of laws'. One thing that I have shared before is a growing understanding of the freedom that Christians enjoy. You see, many friends and colleagues define who I am by what I do - or in some cases, by what I don't do. "You don't drink - you don't gamble - etc". I am encouraged to look at life with an understanding of who I am, not what I do.

When I blogged about life being a game, it wasn't because I wanted to ignore the rules. It was because I didn't want to play by other people's rules. There's another set of rules to follow; these are rules based on a living relationship with your creator, not just on do's and don't's. And as I seek to follow these new rules, and learn to trust Him more and more, He will lead me where I need to be. And in the meantime - He will help me to be content, whatever the circumstances. And I really need that...

Lord, I would clasp thy hand in mine,
Nor ever murmur or repine,
Content, whatever lot I see,
Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.
Chorus
He leadeth me, he leadeth me!
By his own hand he leadeth me;
His faithful follower I will be,
For by his hand he leadeth me.
SASB 725, v3 and chorus (Joseph Henry Gilmore)