Joy and Sadness

I went away on holiday after Christmas with my wife, and we ended up in the Netherlands, exploring the beautiful city of Rotterdam. It was very nice to immerse ourselves into a completely different culture for a while, leaving our worries and cares a whole country away...

Whilst I was away, I had the opportunity to catch up on satellite TV with a Pixar film called 'Inside Out' (2015), which I must admit I had avoided seeing at the time as I was a little unsure whether I would be able to enjoy it - or even endure it… Let me explain.

This animated film is set in the mind of a young girl named Riley (voiced by Kaitlyn Dias), where five personified emotions — Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust - try to lead the girl through life.

As Riley grows up, her experiences become memories, which appear on screen as being stored in coloured orbs, which are sent into long-term memory each night. Her five most important 'core memories' start to form aspects of her personality which take the form of floating islands. Joy (Amy Poehler) acts as leader of her emotions, and since she and the other emotions do not understand Sadness's purpose, she tries to keep Sadness (Phyllis Smith) away from the main control console.

Everything starts going badly wrong when Riley and her parents (Diane Lane and Kyle MacLachlan) move from Minnesota to San Francisco… a series of unpleasant experiences from being so far out of her comfort zone affect Riley badly, and when Sadness causes Riley to cry in front of her school class, she creates Riley's first sad core memory. Joy tries to dispose of it quickly but accidentally knocks the other core memories loose during a struggle with Sadness, deactivating the personality islands. Joy, Sadness, and the core memories are then expelled out of Headquarters and sent to long-term memory storage.

By this stage in watching I was hooked. It was the only English language film on at the time, yet I felt  something deep inside myself wanting to turn it off (probably because it was getting a bit too close to home?). Could someone truly go through life without Joy or Sadness? It spoke to my inner me during one of my ‘bad days’. Days when I tend to emotionally switch off and simply ‘go through the motions’… deactivating the personality islands ... I was brave and kept going.

I won’t spoil the rest of it for you, but suffice it to say I literally ended up in tears by the end of the film.

I'll mention a couple of scenes in the film for you. At one point, Joy tries to prevent Sadness from having any influence on Riley by drawing a small chalk “circle of Sadness”, telling her to stay inside the circle. Apparently, psychologists call this type of behaviour 'emotional suppression' - that often something that leads to anxiety and depression. Finally, at the end of the film, Joy realises that she has to embrace the healthiest method for working with emotions: to accept Sadness for who she is. This is called 'mindfully embracing' an emotion.

This is something I need to learn in 2020. Hence, this rather personal blog post.

Saturday Catch-Up - 23rd February 2019

Does it bring you joy?

I'm regularly encouraged to live.. simply. The world outside is increasingly complex, and I simply don't need that in my life any more. I have told that I have everything I need (Psalm 23).

As you may know, we're re-evaluating a number of different things at home, and this year that includes a regular decluttering regime. My son told me about the adage, the simple question noted at the top of this blog entry. It's a simple question, and comes from a book entitled The Life Changing Method of Tidying Up  by a Japanese author, Marie Kondo.

Do I need to keep it, bin it, sell it on, regift it, or recycle it? Far too difficult. Too many options. Too much emotion! So, let's simplify the question. And Marie's initial question in her book is far simpler... popularly known as the KonMari method, there's only one question:

Does it bring you joy?

If you answer yes, you keep it. If you hesitate or say no, you donate it or throw it out.

It's working!

Romans 15:13 (NIV)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Finding Joy

L is for Laughter

Laughter is quite an amazing gift from God. When things aren't going quite the way I'd planned, a laugh or two can lift me out of some of my lowest points of my day, and can help me feel so much better.

God wants us to be happy. Joy is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit and what better way is there to express joy than through laughter?

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."
Job 8:21 (NIV)

My Wife And I

My wife and I have been married now for 24 years. Christine and I tied the knot way back in 1992.

There have been good times, and there have been not so good times, between then and now. And a whole lot of things that have happened that we didn't reckon on all those years ago. In fact, surprises around every turn.

We've raised two children together, and I don't think we've done too badly, all in all.

We're not the young lovers that we were all those many years ago.

But we are still together.

And I'm very happy about that.

Good Things Out Of Bad

There's been a number of stray thoughts bashing about in my mind lately. I think it started with last week's blog post on gratitude, and stepped up a gear when our Corps house group began a bible study series on the book of James that same week. James 1 contains the following quote:
 

"My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble.  You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested.  But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything."
James 1:2-4 (CEV)
 

And so we are back again, looking at why 'bad things happen to good people'. Which is actually the wrong way of looking at it - because we now know that stuff happens to everyone - good and bad - and it all depends on how we react. How we roll with it.
 

I've been reading up on what happens when a destructive force suddenly changes the status quo, shakes up an otherwise calm situation. Yes, first there is chaos, disruption, even death. But, then there is change. People adapt, recover. And things do get better.
 

Would anyone recommend drastic, even catastrophic solutions to a static situation? No, of course not. That sounds terrible.
 

But often this turns out to be the best thing that could have ever happened.
 

The prime factor here? An urgent need for change.
 

That has got me thinking. Because people don't like change. And therefore things rarely change unless there is an urgent need for it. Sometimes it takes something extremely drastic - even catastrophic - to get some people to change...
 

And yet, change can bring growth. James was certain that difficulties in our lives carry so much potential to bring blessing, that he encourages us to rejoice, even if we are still in the midst of troubles.
 

Now, if only we could embrace change without the need for such disruption...

The Joy Of Missing Out

Through one of the weekly podcasts that I listen to, I've discovered a great truth. And it's based on the way modern society now works. On the FOMO principle. Hat tip to my friend, Don, who loves these sort of acronyms. :)

FOMO has been coined, because of the tactics of 21st Century culture. Because modern day life is filled with a variety of different opportunities. "Try this new product. Come and see this film. Visit our restaurant. We'd hate you to miss out." We are bombarded with ideas and images all of the time.

Sure, I've been sold things via advertising before. I've been subjected to it for pretty much all of my life.

However, here's the difference. Now they'll sell it to you with a large side order of guilt. You're going to kick yourself if you miss this." And it's not only the traditional forms of media that's giving me this message. I get it from my Facebook wall, from the emails pouring into my inbox. Friends will 'like' a particular page, thus producing an ad on my Facebook wall and trying to get me to come along for the ride.  "One last chance to join in. Hurry - this is your last chance. Don't be disappointed..."

It's FOMO they are spreading. The Fear Of Missing Out.

And technology makes it worse. Because we are increasingly aware of what others are doing, and sometimes in minutiae, we become terribly aware of all the stuff that we aren't doing.

Thankfully, one bright spark came up with JOMO.

The "Joy Of Missing Out".

The wonderful realisation that you are not going to be there because you have made a positive choice not to go.

The incredible power that you have when you realise you don't have to do something, just because everyone else is doing it. You can be different. It's more than OK.

The delightful feeling that you have turned down something that matters, because something in your own life matters a whole lot more.

 

If I can truly embrace this - then all of a sudden I am wonderfully empowered - to say No once in a while. And not to feel guilty about saying it.
 

If I can do this, then regret no longer has any influence on me.

Wow!

Joy

Psalm 118:24 (NLT)
This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

A Few More Definitions of Joy

"Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It's a feeling inside that can hardly be contained." - Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

"You ought to live your life with such freedom and joy that uptight Christians will doubt your salvation." - Steve Brown, A Scandalous Freedom

"I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters." - Oprah Winfrey

"Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation." - Rick Warren

A Prayer for 2012

May God make your year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you when people and their causes need you most,
and by making you anxious to be there to help.
God's love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.

Anonymous

Contentment - In Search Of A Definition

Lord, I would place my hand in thine,
nor ever murmur nor repine;
Content, whatever lot I see,
since 'tis my God that leadeth me.
(He Leadeth Me, verse 3 - words by Joseph H. Gilmore)

Thinking back once again on the subject of contentment, I discover that it's a different concept from happiness, which is something that I guess that most people strive for. Understandable, I suppose - remember, it's engrained into our modern culture. Even the United States Declaration of Independence states that there are certain rights that we each have - among these are 'Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness'!

No, what we are talking about here is something much more subtle. It's about learning to be content in your current situation. A situation which might best be described as 'less than perfect'. A situation that is made much more bearable because you are not alone. Christ is there with you.

And He is with you when you seek to help others, bringing that same sense of contentment to others when you minister to them, in His name.

1 Timothy 6:6-8 (The Message)
A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough.

"The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment." - Doug Larson

Surprised By Joy

James 1:2 (NIV)
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds...

The above verse of scripture was emailed to me this morning - and only seeks to underline something that came to light following the meetings at the Army yesterday. You see, I understand all what was said yesterday about mission; the Great Commission if you will. I understand the sacrifice; I understand the need to minister to 'others'. No problem with any of that.

There's just one aspect that seems to be eluding me. An understanding of the joy that comes out of this service. The same joy mentioned in the above passage. The joy experienced and mentioned throughout the Christmas story.

And, looking back over this blog, it seems to be a subject that's been eluding me for a while. Is there something that I've yet to consider; something that seems to be robbing me of that joy?

Heading into the latter part of the Advent season, then, the goal then is to find that joy. That deep satisfaction that comes from knowing God, hearing His voice and obeying. The quality that allows us to be strong; able to face those kinds of trials.

In 1955, C S Lewis published a book which related the story of the author's conversion. It was entitled "Surprised by Joy".

That's the sort of surprise I am looking for this Christmas.

Deep Joy

Ever heard of Professor Stanley Unwin? A comedian and writer, he invented his own bizarre language of "Unwinese". A regular sight on British TV in the Sixties, he appeared in films like 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' and even in a little-known Gerry Anderson TV series called 'The Secret Service', speaking his own particular brand of gobbledygook You can find out more about him here.

One phrase that's particularly associated with Unwin is the words 'deep joy'. The words are emotive, capturing a feeling of lasting contentment. That sums up exactly what I've been looking for. The sort of satisfaction that doesn't slip through my fingers before you know it. A lasting assurance that I'm precisely where I need to be.

It came up to the top of the to-do pile yesterday when the following quotation was shared with me - this sums up better than I can where I need to be in my christian walk. Here, the writer is talking on the subject of 'vocation':

‎"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." — Frederick Buechner, from the book 'Wishful Thinking'.

Buechner concludes that God usually calls you to the kind of work
(a) that you need most to do and
(b) that the world most needs to have done.

I'm drawing out Venn diagrams even as we speak. Where these two aspects meet - that's where I need to be! Or is that gobbledygook to you?

Joy

I got quite a bit out of the Corps Bible Study yesterday evening. The CO led the session on the subject of 'hope', and we explored various passages relating to hope and expectation in scripture over the course of the evening. He mentioned the story of how Horatio Spafford wrote 'It Is Well With My Soul'; although I know the song well, I'd never heard the story before. Read all about it here.

A comment during the evening on 'joy' started me off on yet another train of thought. Is it possible to be joyful, even if you are going through unhappy times? Does that even make sense?

Happiness is a topic that I've touched on before in this blog, but I've never quite understood the difference between happiness and joy. And there is a difference.

Happiness is a temporary condition, based more on circumstance or good fortune than anything. When things are going well, you are happy. Joy on the other hand goes much deeper. It speaks of emotional well-being. Winning something in a competition may make us happy, but joy comes from deep relationships, like those with a loved one, and of course from God.

Joy does not depend on having more money, a new car, new job, or that luxury holiday. It's a state of mind, an attitude to life that wells up from inside you.

Although I haven't quite suffered as much as Horatio Spafford did those many years ago, I can admit that today wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a happy day. But I'm pleased to say that I still have that joy that comes from knowing my Saviour within me.

And that, to complete the link back to last night, gives me hope.

Romans 15:13 (New International Version, ©2011)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

In Search Of Joy

First, there was the incapacity of a broken ankle, restricting the things I could do. This was followed by the sheer inconvenience of the bout of sickness that prevented me from going to the Corps yesterday. I could not believe how low I ended up feeling by the evening!

It was clear this morning that I needed a jump-start, something to snap me back to normality. I need a little 'joie de vivre' - so I set out to find it today. This is what I found...

Nehemiah 8:10 (New Living Translation)

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

After a little while I realised that what I needed was the 'joy of the Lord'. That's what I've been lacking the most.... not the physical feasting that we enjoy at this time of year (there's been plenty there!), but a feasting on God's word, to acquire strength and wisdom, so I can be more effective in doing His will. As my body seeks to recuperate, to regain strength, I have somehow neglected to keep my spirit fed. As I have sought assistance from others to do some basic tasks, I have clearly neglected to seek from God that assistance that I need to live. I have been running low on Joy.

I'm working on this now.

True Happiness

"There’s joy in following Jesus all the way;
There’s joy in following Jesus every day;
His love is like a rainbow when earthly skies are grey;
There’s joy in following Jesus all the way."
chorus 206, SASB

I've learnt that real happiness does not come from the accumulation of material possessions. And I am assured that God can provide you with everything you need - even things that money can't buy! This particular truth is one that is regularly mentioned in the choruses we sing like the one above, as well as in scripture verses.

So why do so many that I know and read of in the blogging community seem to have a difficulty with this truth? I don't deny they have a relationship with God, that He is walking with them. However, they seem to refute the possibility of happiness, stating that living life by Christian values will make life more difficult - giving a sense of fulfilment. I'm seeking more than just fulfilment - I'm seeking joy.

True joy, lasting joy, comes from an abiding personal relationship with Jesus, and trusting in His provision. Here's some quotations:

Romans 15:13 (New International Version)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1 Peter 1:8-9 (New International Version)
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I therefore conclude that Jesus wants me to be happy, to experience true joy. And that's the joy of following Him.

Joyful, Joyful

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

(Genesis 4:6-7, NIV)

These words from the familiar story of Cain and Abel hit me square on in my devotions this morning - a personal challenge for the New Year! The Bible translation that I was using this morning was The Living Bible, and said:

"Why is your face so dark with rage? It can be bright with joy if you will do what you should."

Having blogged previously about coming up against some strong ill-feelings last year, I'm really looking to capture some 'joy' in my life for 2009.

Joyful, joyful, we adore thee,
God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flowers before thee,
Hail thee as the sun above.

Melt the clouds of sin and sadness,
Drive the clouds of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness,
Fill us with the light of day.

SASB 10 - Henry van Dyke (1852-1933)