True Friendship

How many real friends do you have? According to a 2014 survey, the average Facebook user has 338 'friends'. And yet, how many of these are true 'friends'? Not that many, I am sure... Do many of your 'friends' truly know you - what makes you 'tick'...

I was pondering this at an Army event today. It followed an incident when I was seemingly 'blanked' by someone who I thought was a friend.  Yes, I know, perhaps they didn't know I would be there. Yes, I know, the venue was very large, and yes, I know, it's always extremely distracting when there are literally dozens of people in the same venue. I went through all of these scenarios in my head. Still, just for an little while, I must admit to feeling a little sorry for myself after the incident.

That didn't last long, I'm pleased to say. I was reminded quite powerfully that I have at least one friend who knows me inside and out and loves me to bits... Do you know Him?

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)
...be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Getting Older

I recently celebrated another birthday.

I don't know about you, but since then I've become increasingly aware that things are proceeding so differently now then when I was twenty years younger...

And often not for the best... I don't mind the emphasis on technology as it helps so much to gather information to enable you to do your job. No, it's usually the baggage that comes with it.

It culminated this week with a junior member of staff who laughed at me because I regularly consulted a book at the office.  A paper book. How old fashioned of me...

(Sigh)

Integrity, And How Not To Lose It

I seem to hear a lot of people talking about integrity at the moment. In our lives, in our church, and particularly at the present time in the political arena. Not surprising, I suppose, that it's at the top of my mind today.

The Hebrew word in the Old Testament which is translated as integrity means “the condition of being without blemish, completeness, perfection, sincerity, soundness, uprightness, wholeness.”

I want a life that features all of these things. However, there is little point of me trying to be what I am not... I know I am imperfect but I try very hard to be true to my beliefs. "Fake it until you make it" just isn't for me. "I will do my best" is more like it.

However, as a society we are frequently confronted by people who claim to be perfect but are quickly found to be seriously flawed. What is worse, this is usually brought to my attention by the popular press who love to find fault in those in leadership or in the public eye. They dig and dig until they find something, and leap upon it to sell papers or lead the next news bulletin. 

That's a terrific reason not to be famous, and not to run for public office. I figure I can do much more good as an unknown that I could ever do as a 'name'...

Here's a few pointers I picked up from the 'net today, while thinking about blogging about this topic...

I should strive to be the same person in front of a crowd as you are behind the scenes. That's a tough one for me as I personally hate crowds... However, I take the good advice. I should be the same in public as I am in private. However,  if you want to see me at my most comfortable, look behind the scenes. I'll be there.

I should take care not to conform. Yep. See Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I should take frequent opportunity to build my character. Indeed, and this takes time. Endurance builds character (Romans 5:3). And remember, don't seek to compromise your deeply-held values. Anything that is truly a personal value to you should not be compromised just because it's convenient. Which brings us on to the next point..

I should live with honesty and keep your promises. I'd go a step further than that and say 'don't lie to yourself'. Because it's common for altruistic people to go out of your way for others and to neglect themselves. By all means strive to keep your promises, however don't make yourself ill in the process... you are of little use to others if you make yourself ill!

Just my thoughts today.

Time Is A Construct

(my son's reply to a question about 'having time to do something'. Yep, it got me thinking and eventually led to this blog entry.)

Question: Is "time" an abstract mental construct or does it exist independent of human consciousness?

I do believe that time exists. (Good job, because it's part of the title of this blog!!!) There are even verses in scripture that scholars say tell us that God created time, and that he lives independently of it. I came to that conclusion a while ago, and here's the blog post I wrote about it at the time, here. Star Trek fans will doubtless understand, have a read...

Another popular saying is: "Time doesn't exist, only clocks exist." Aah, now I believe you are on to something. Because it's really the way that we 21st Century humans relate to clocks that cause us so many problems. 

Because it is our clocks who tell us when we need to wake up, when we need to go to work, when it’s time for lunch, when we really should go to sleep. 

And there are so many of us who don’t do those things when we want to, we do them when others have determined they should be done.

Someone asked me an honest question the other day. "How did man ever exist without clocks?" Simple. They got up when it was daylight, and went to bed when it got dark. 

Want to get less stressed? Take that watch off your wrist for a little while...

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so - Douglas Adams, The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Patience! You've got all the time in the world - whether a thousand years or a day, it's all the same to you. - Psalm 90:4, The Message translation.

Do Better

I Can't Say No

(with apologies to those people who thought this post was going to be about that song from 'Oklahoma'. That song is actually entitled "I Cain't Say No". Look it up!)

I have previously blogged about struggling with being assertive and with saying no. "You don't have to do that, you know. You can say no..." I've lost count of the number of times that people have said that to me over the years... not sure if this was a genuine concern about my well-being, or if it was something else...

However, I know too well what they mean. Saying no is especially tough for introverts like myself, because I personally hate conflict. It is far easier to "go with the flow" and not to resist. Saying yes is a logical way to keep the peace. Despite the fact that I can often end up worse off at the end of the day - overwhelmed and with low energy.

However, sometimes the main reason why I don't say no - is a strong conviction that I want to - or need to - say YES!

• YES to helping others, in making this world a better place
• YES, even though I don't get paid for it
• YES to standing up and being counted
• YES, even though there is a risk it may make be ill or overtired (an increasing factor at the moment!)
• YES to making a difference. 

That's why I can't always say no. 

I've blogged about this today, as there have been a few voluntary jobs I've had to drop off over the past few years as it's just become too much for me. And I suspect that as I get older, there may be one or two more things that will need to go. 

Oh, and by the way - if I do say no - please realise that I've not made the decision lightly. Putting pressure on me to 'change my mind' won't go down too well...

Thanks for listening. 

“In this life we cannot always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

Over and over again

Did Einstein really define insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"?

Actually - he may not have done. It's often attributed to him, but there's not any solid proof that he actually said it.

However, I have been thinking about this phrase for quite a while now. Because I sometimes catch myself relaxing into the same old familiar ways, hoping that, just for once, the outcome might be subtlely different this time...

However, not this weekend.

These past few days have seen a complete change of pace. A bold strategy, which requires discipline, wisdom and courage. I'm way outside of my comfort zone, some of you will be pleased to hear... :)

It's a bit scary.

But, so far, different is good.

Too much or not enough?

This week's post is going to cover a topic that I have been struggling with for a few months. How much is "enough"?

My personal commitments to my church ministry and to the wider mission field (Street Pastors, Cold Weather Shelter) have been made increasingly difficult due to my current health. I've struggled through things over the last six months and managed to keep things going, but it has certainly had a toll on me. Falling over and twisting my ankle in March didn't help...

My family have been telling me to slow down. They think I do too much. That's probably good advice. But I don't want to consider stopping. 

Am I being selfish? I have asked myself that question over and over again. And I think I got the answer last night...

Whilst out on a Street Pastors patrol on Good Friday, I got into a deep conversation with a guy outside one of the venues. He couldn't understand why I wanted to be out at 2am. When I told him I did it so he could feel safe, his attitude changed. Why would I do that for him?

Why did my Lord give His life for me, so many years ago? So that I could show His love, His compassion,  to others.

As much as I can. For as long as I can.

Three Quotes About Small Talk

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” ~ Plato

“[Introverts] listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror for small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.” ~ Susan Cain

Saturday Catch-Up - 6th April 2019

I spent a lot of my time looking at blue.
The colour of my room and my mood:
Blue on the walls, blue out of my mouth;
The sort of blue between clouds, when the sun comes out,
The sort of blue in those eyes you get hung up about.

When that feeling of meaninglessness sets in,
Go blowing my mind on God:
The light in the dark, with the neon arms,
The meek He seeks, the beast He calms,
The head of the good soul department.

I see myself suddenly
On the piano, as a melody.
My terrible fear of dying
No longer plays with me,
for now I know that I'm needed
For the symphony.
(lyrics from 'Symphony in Blue' by Kate Bush)