Exhibitions And Faking It

It's that time again. Time to man the company stand at another busy exhibition. Not the best sort of day for me - but at least I understand now why I'll find it tough. Because I'm a natural introvert.

Exhibitions like this one can can be difficult for me, as I rapidly lose energy in such a busy setting. I know that I am only at my most productive in a quiet environment - somewhere that I'm unlikely to find much over the next couple of days.

And what about the others at the event? Because it tends to be a sales-based exhibition, most of the stands will probably be manned by extroverts, eager to sell their wares. But are they? Because I've discovered a lot of introverts cover it up - faking extroversion. I used to do it myself!

It's because modern-day society is positively geared towards extroversion. Susan Cain has written about it in her book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking". Here's the quote -

“For the same reason that Betty Friedan published The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time – second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts, and many introverts believe that there is something wrong with them and that they should try to “pass” as extroverts. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness.”

Thanks to Susan and many others, introversion is starting to be accepted more and more. It's OK for people to be this way. This is the way that God has made me.

So, I expect this exhibition will be noisy, with hundreds of people milling about and with loads of small talk (ugh). It's going to be more endure than enjoy.

But I do intend to enjoy some of it.

It is a Christian Exhibition, And so I know there will be a precious oasis of quiet somewhere at the venue. And I know God will be there.

I'll be looking out for Him. And He'll show me something great.

Avengers: Marvel, Movies and Marshmallows

The other week, I went to see "Avengers: Age Of Ultron" with my family. Terrific, we all loved it. I definitely need a copy of the film for my DVD collection. I appreciated all the work that Joss Whedon and team put in to the production, developing some of the characters. I loved to see new members of one of my favourite superhero teams introduced and brought to life; characters that I had known since my teenage years as a young comics geek.

However, to tell the truth - if I had to find a fault it would be with the action sequences, well crafted though they were. There was just too much on the screen, so some of these were a little too much for me. Everything went by as a blur, particularly those shots where multiple Avengers were on screen at the same time. I'm going to have to sit down and watch some of these scenes again, just to pick up all of the detail.

I have since read other reviews of the film. One stood out to me. Kenneth Turan of the Los Angeles Times said, "Although this movie is effective moment to moment, very little of it lingers in the mind afterward. The ideal vehicle for our age of immediate sensation and instant gratification, it disappears without a trace almost as soon as it's consumed."

Instant gratification. I want it now. Isn't that the catchphrase of the modern world?

Walter Mischel developed something called we now call the 'Stanford marshmallow experiment' to test gratification patterns in four-year-olds. In this study, children was offered a choice between one reward (say, a marshmallow) provided straight away, or two rewards if they waited for a short period of 15 minutes. He discovered that having an ability to resist eating the marshmallow immediately would indicate success in later life.

The modern 'action film' is fast-paced and breathtaking. Each new release tries to top the previous one. So, in order to attract a modern audience, new action movies need to be faster and have lots of exciting sequences, hoards of menacing foes, fiery explosions chasing people down a corridor. That has to be there to get the crowds in, I know. Yes, that particular 'marshmallow' is sweet - but I personally want something else from my films.

I want a good storyline. I want something to think about when I head off home. I want to be able to lose myself in their world for a couple of hours. I'm looking for emotion, for teamwork and, above all, for truth.

So, I don't see every movie that's at the cinema. I pick and choose something that's special to me. Something worth waiting for. Something that's definitely worth two marshmallows.

Oh, by the way, on the same day as I saw the film, I also picked up the DVD box set of 'Firefly', Joss Whedon's cult TV series. I'm currently working through the box. There's plenty there!!!

Conversational Ping Pong

Sorry, guys, I'm afraid that I am not a brilliant conversationalist. In fact, I can find myself at a total loss at times - usually when the chatter progresses like a game of ping pong. Back and forth, back and forth, across the table.

It's not that I have nothing to say. It's just that it's got to be the right thing. However, I usually think of the perfect thing to say ... 10 minutes after the conversation has moved on. And I haven't got a time machine, can't rewind...

However, I've learnt to be happy with it. It's just the way I am.

Put a piece of paper and a pen in front of me - or a computer screen and a keyboard - and I will write for hours. Pages of text. This blog is proof enough of that! However, in a prolonged three-way conversation, I'm usually the one diligently listening. If I haven't already managed to found the door... leaving them to it!

I'm told that I'm not alone. Many introverts struggle with verbal communication. It's because we like time to think before we speak. And sometimes there's so many strands of thought that it can take a while to pin them all down. By the time we've sorted it out in our heads, the moment is lost.

Actually, although I'm rarely that vocal - be warned. The conversation may be on a niche topic that I'm either quite knowledgeable or particularly excited about. And then the whole thing becomes quite a different ball game. I could talk for hours... you may be surprised!

So, What Happens Now?

Life is finally getting back to normal following the recent Parliamentary election campaign. There has been loads of opportunities to read literature from the candidates, chat to them on the doorstep and on the street corner, listen to what they had to say in the hustings, and to prayerfully consider where to put your cross on the ballot paper. It's been interesting.

But what happens now? A week after polling day...

During the last month I've received literature reminding me of my duty to "Show Up" on the day to vote. But I'm increasingly convicted of my need to "show up’ in everyday life too.

Being there, making a difference in the world.

Sure, I'm don't feel that I'm in a position to influence anyone on a grand scale, through the world of politics. However, I know that I can make a difference on a small scale, in fact wherever I am. I can stand up and be counted.

And sometimes, you have to stop and ask a few hard questions.

"As Christians, we need to not just be pulling the drowning bodies out of the river. We need to be going upstream to find out who is pushing them in." - Desmond Tutu

Slowing Down

Life seems to be one long succession of deadlines and crises. A whole load of complications and unexpected difficulties all coming together. You know what I mean. Suddenly, it's all kicking off.

And here I am in the midst, trying desperately to stay focused, stay anchored; let's face it, to stay sane...

All is changing by the minute. It can be a full-time job just keeping up. And yet, the most important question for me right now is:

Can I hear God’s voice above all the noise?

I need to be still. To find that little niche of calm, of reflection on what has proved to be another chaotic day. I'm trying to slow down, but find my mind still racing...

I need to wait upon the Lord. To seek Him in silence and solitude, to hear His voice.

Regretfully, there's not much quiet on the 1627 to Dartford, this evening. (sigh)

Help me find that calm, Lord.

Help me find you tonight.

Help me to slow down.

The Joy Of Missing Out

Through one of the weekly podcasts that I listen to, I've discovered a great truth. And it's based on the way modern society now works. On the FOMO principle. Hat tip to my friend, Don, who loves these sort of acronyms. :)

FOMO has been coined, because of the tactics of 21st Century culture. Because modern day life is filled with a variety of different opportunities. "Try this new product. Come and see this film. Visit our restaurant. We'd hate you to miss out." We are bombarded with ideas and images all of the time.

Sure, I've been sold things via advertising before. I've been subjected to it for pretty much all of my life.

However, here's the difference. Now they'll sell it to you with a large side order of guilt. You're going to kick yourself if you miss this." And it's not only the traditional forms of media that's giving me this message. I get it from my Facebook wall, from the emails pouring into my inbox. Friends will 'like' a particular page, thus producing an ad on my Facebook wall and trying to get me to come along for the ride.  "One last chance to join in. Hurry - this is your last chance. Don't be disappointed..."

It's FOMO they are spreading. The Fear Of Missing Out.

And technology makes it worse. Because we are increasingly aware of what others are doing, and sometimes in minutiae, we become terribly aware of all the stuff that we aren't doing.

Thankfully, one bright spark came up with JOMO.

The "Joy Of Missing Out".

The wonderful realisation that you are not going to be there because you have made a positive choice not to go.

The incredible power that you have when you realise you don't have to do something, just because everyone else is doing it. You can be different. It's more than OK.

The delightful feeling that you have turned down something that matters, because something in your own life matters a whole lot more.

 

If I can truly embrace this - then all of a sudden I am wonderfully empowered - to say No once in a while. And not to feel guilty about saying it.
 

If I can do this, then regret no longer has any influence on me.

Wow!

Why Life Can Be Overwhelming

Sometimes, it's all just too much. Too much happening. Before long, everything becomes so intense that it all becomes overwhelming.

If this is a feeling that resonates with you, then this post is definitely for you. Because it's okay. Some people are simply more sensitive to certain events than others.

It could be something small. For instance, I find that if there's an overpowering floral scent, I just can't stand it for very long. There are certain perfume shops in the local shopping centre that I simply have to avoid!

It may involve a combination of senses. Perhaps it's just too busy; there's simply too much going on. Things get too intense (too noisy, too cramped) or they go on for far too long. You can stand it for a little while, but after that you simply have to get out of there... that's why some people can last all night at a busy party, while others look for the exit at the earliest opportunity.  I'm definitely in the latter category!

The reason is simple. You're more sensitive to certain stimuli. It's the way you're wired - you reach your saturation point far quicker than other people.

Studies have shown that 'highly sensitive people' (often abbreviated to HSPs) show substantially greater blood flow to relevant brain areas than is seen in individuals with low sensitivity during the same period.

So, there's nothing wrong - it's just the way you're made.

Read up on it, see if this applies to you.

Something Amazing, I Guess

Yesterday morning, my family and I were up and watching "The Incredibles". 

However, there was this one scene in the movie that truly resonated with me....

It was the scene where Bob Parr comes home from his dull, suburban day job as an insurance clerk. Bob is capable of so much more, and he knows it, but he has had to keep his secret identity as Mr Incredible secret. But the little kid from down the road was onto him...

One day Bob catches the kid watching... 

"What are you waiting for?" 

The kid replies - 

"Something amazing, I guess." 

Bob sighs, and agrees - 

"Me too, kid."

There's something good, just around the corner.  Don't know exactly what, or exactly when. An opportunity to go out and really do something amazing. There's even a fear that that day may not ever come. Bob knows it. He has something special, but he thinks nobody wants it. He's just waiting for that opportunity to go out and make a difference. 

And on that day, we can all shout, like that little kid down the road. 

"Oh man. That was totally wicked!"

I'm waiting, too. 

Choices

I don't know about you, but my brain is filled with hundreds and hundreds of possibilities.
Maybes and What Ifs, Could Bes and a whole load of Must Dos. All conflicting, all jostling for position.

The problem is - I don't want to do just one thing. I want to do them all. I want the new experiences, a whole load of the challenges, and all the regular stuff that I love to do as well. I want to live life to the full.

And that means I struggle between doing new things and carrying on with my existing commitments.
As I have already established in a previous post, I only have enough time to do some of what I can do. Or enough energy. So I need to choose, and choose wisely.

Let's say, there is something important in the list of things that you have to do. Wouldn't you want to do it? But you can't do everything. So, you'd need to drop something. In extreme cases, if the thing was very, very important, you'd need to drop everything else.

Attempting to pull yourself in too many directions is the single quickest way to failure. And putting your all into a single direction is the quickest way to success.

If you want to follow your dreams, you have to say no to all the alternatives. It’s not easy, but that's the price of success.

Matthew 13:45-46 (NIV)
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

You Gotta Have A Dream...

This week I have been encouraged to step out and claim that tremendous promise mentioned in Mark 9:23 (NIV) — "Everything is possible for one who believes."

However, in order for me to step out in faith, I need to have a clear vision of where I need to be. And, let's face it, it has got to be God's vision of the future, not anyone else's. There's plenty of political commentators campaigning about next week's General Election who are keen to make promises about the way things are going to be over the next few years. What better guidance - what surer guide can I have than the Creator of the universe?

My vision - my dream of the future - has got to be right.

• It shouldn't be some rose-tinted view of the years ahead
• It shouldn't be a utopian fairy-tale where 'we'll all live happily ever after';
• It shouldn't be an idealistic 'pipe dream'...

It's got to be realistic, it's got to be from God, it's got to be true.

In the words of the song from 'South Pacific' - "You gotta have a dream, if you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?"

I believe that I'm here on Earth for a purpose. If I don’t have a dream to work toward, it's just 'existing'. And that's not living.