Belonging

I know quite a few fellow Christians in my town who are currently 'between churches'.

That can't be easy. In fact, I'm quite upset with even the thought of this. You see, I personally need the sense of belonging that you get from a church group.

Scripture underlines this for me when it says that his followers are “fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household” (Ephesians 2:19b, NIV).

The local fellowship of believers gives me a sense of identity, several avenues of commitment,  as well as a means of accountability. 

Take away the local church and its network (for whatever reason), and my ability to work out my own Christian walk is so much harder. Not impossible, but it's much harder.

Put my life back into the context of a church family - different backgrounds, different races,  different social statuses - and then I can start learning from others, befriending others, encouraging others. As well as making the fellowship stronger, this can then be a powerful witness to the world.

Let's turn to scripture for the last word. Hebrews 10:25 warns us against “not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing”.

You know I am praying for those Christian friends who are spiritually 'homeless' tonight.

Feeling Fine

It's the end of a particularly busy weekend for me.

I think I coped pretty well. Despite the fact that I lost a whole night's sleep on Friday (I was helping out at the Cold Weather Shelter again).

I kept going on Saturday, just to see if I could, and patted myself on the back at how well I was doing. I took a brief nap during Saturday lunchtime (just under 4 hours) and that kept me running until Saturday night, when I slept soundly through to Sunday. Bit tough getting up for church, but there you go.

But it's now Sunday night, and I'm starting to really notice the effects of those missing hours of shut-eye.

I'm definitely ratty. Feelings are all over the place tonight. My mind is really having trouble coping, buzzing away, trying to make sense of every nugget of wisdom, filing every comment and aside that I picked up today. I'm happy, sad, and angry, all at the same time. So sensitive (and I'm a sensitive type anyway)... and trying to record how I feel in this blog, too :)

One scientific explanation is that the emotional centre of my brain (the amygdala) has got hypersensitive due to sleep deprivation, which is why I'm taking in far too much stimuli, and my higher brain functions can't cope and filter.

So - I'm an emotional wreck. And that's why I find it difficult to cope. Behaving less like a grown-up and more like a teenager. Probably because teens get insufficient sleep, too.

I'm fine. But I'm just a bit tired.

I'm off to bed now.

Stranger Than Fiction

“‘Tis strange – but true; for truth is always strange; Stranger than fiction.”
Lord Byron (George Gordon Byron (1788-1824), from his epic poem Don Juan

Things are always a little bit strange in our household. A bit odd. Because we're not by any stretch of the imagination a normal family. If such a thing actually exists...

• We certainly don't act like a normal family (even though we are mum, dad and two kids, that's where the similarity ends...)
• We like to push the boundaries of normal living where we can. We've even got a sign up in our house, which says ...
• "Remember as far as anyone knows we're a normal family" :)
• We don't even keep normal hours. 

However, we still strive to keep some things, some essentials at the centre of our lives. It's a real battle sometimes to ensure these ideals are present. 

One of the essentials for me is truth.

It's something that I strive very much to hold on to. Just look at my profile pic and the subsequent description. 'Seeker after truth'. 

Yes, truth is what we need. What we all need. 

More precious than hard cash; a powerful force once it is recognised; rarer than hens teeth (as my mum would say)... and sometimes it is certainly very strange...

... and yet I'm convinced that it's the only way to be truly free. 

John 8:31-32 (NIV)
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

A Place To Belong

I hear quite a lot of talk about the difference between wants and needs.

There's a whole lot of things that we might want to make our lives easier, or even bearable...

... however, you may not need them. 

Take the topic of belonging. 

In my opinion, this is a definite human need. Like the need for food, or shelter.

Everyone has a need to belong. This might be thought of in terms of being a part of brotherhood/ sisterhood, or in terms of friendship, or even love. A sense of connection with your peers.

Lose that feeling of belonging and the world can be an extremely lonely place. In some cases, even physically painful. Your body aches for connection.

Exclude someone from a group, and well-being takes a serious knock. There is pain and conflict.

More later, as I continue to work this out in my own head....

All Is Calm

It's just after 4 in the morning as I write this. I'm up all night tonight, doing some voluntary work at the local winter night shelter. The night shift.

It's very quiet.

And I've found this evening has been particularly useful.

I've done a full set of minutes for a recent business meeting; prepared detailed notes for a church meeting that I'm leading next month; reorganised a set of photos on my laptop; and listened to a sermon, a podcast and two whole episodes of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

I feel good. :)

How Not To React

It's been a particularly grotty day. Yeah, totally unpredictable, and a whole lot of nasty stuff happening.

 

And for a change I'm seeking to rise above it. Trying awfully hard not to let it get to me. I have my feelings on a very tight rein. If anything, I'm striving to see the funny side of it. Can't quite see it at the moment, but I'm still looking...
 

This follows a bit of study I've done recently into my own responsibility for my own feelings. Let's face it, I don't have any control over some of the things that happen to me. I can't control the weather, for example. What I do have under my control is the way I choose to respond - with my own thoughts and feelings. It's raining... do I have to be unhappy about it? Listen to this, taken from one of my favourite blogs:

“You don’t HAVE to feel anything in response to ANYTHING anyone does. If someone steals your coffee cup you can be amused by it if you want. You can be happy about it if you choose. There are no rules other than the rules we set for ourselves and the conscious choices we make.” - Neil Hughes, ‘Walking on Custard and the Meaning of Life: a Guide for Anxious Humans’.

Finally, I keep coming back to the following chorus. Haven't the faintest idea why... I guess this is part of the way I'm trying to find a bit of humour in the situation... even in the most horrible of situations...
 

"When me mother says he can't go down the pub
Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club
At the tomcats when they're kicking up a din
Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in
When me mother locks him out of the flat
When it's raining and he can't find his hat
In the mornings when his motorcar won't go
Next-door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow"
lyrics to 'Gertcha' by Chas & Dave (Chas Hodges / Dave Peacock). This is 'rockney' (mixture of "rock and roll" and "cockney"), a song about how a Londoner's dad might react to some low spots in his day...

Rocking The Boat

"And the people all said sit down
Sit down you're rocking the boat
The people all said sit down
Sit down you're rocking the boat
and the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapels of your checkered coat
Sit down Sit down
Sit down you're rocking the boat"
(lyrics by Frank Loesser - "Sit Down You're Rockin' The Boat" from Guys and Dolls)

I'm not usually a 'boat-rocker'. However, sometimes I have to be...

Because there are those times when I need to choose between my natural instinct to be a "people-pleaser" and the need to simply stand up and be counted - for something that matters to me.

It's a big deal.

I can't be all things to all men. I simply can’t keep everyone happy.

And lately I've been concerned that I'm giving excessive amounts of time and energy to the wrong people - folks who I'm increasingly convinced don't care about the same things that I do. They are never happy. And that's draining. It's like they're pulling a different way to me in our boat... and as such, the boat is starting to head a different way....

Do I need to rock the boat?

Or jump ship and find another boat entirely?

Caught In A Landslide

"Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality... "
(lyrics by Freddie Mercury - 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen)

People sometimes do stupid things. Unexpectedly, perhaps catastrophically. Things that you simply don't expect them to.

I suppose it's understandable. We've all been given the freedom to do as we please.

You can try to advise them, try and steer them in the right direction.

But what if they do something completely bizarre?

Things that defy logic.

Like throwing away one perfectly good relationship to pursue another with someone else more 'exciting'. (This is not someone in my family, or even in my close circle of friends. But it hurts me deeply - somehow...)

I'm caught up in their landslide. Is there any escape?

I can't undo it. Reality simply doesn't have a reset or rewind button; when you make a mistake you’ve got to live with it.

I can't live their life for them, either.

So why do I feel sad today? Why do I care?

Doing Something

Think On These Things

Philippians 4:8 (Contemporary English Version)
"Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise."