25 August 2008

Y is for Yaaagh!


As we have discovered, science fiction has produced some meaningful work - but I'm a great believer in what I call 'the 90% rule'. That's the belief that nine times out of ten something is either just OK or in fact fails to make the grade - it's only one of of every ten that actually becomes a classic. Just look at any list of TV programmes - the hit parade - books. In fact, out of my 26 entries I've written for this bit of my blog you'll probably only thought that 2.6 were good, if my 90% rule applies. So, here's a list of some SF films and shows that were less that outstanding. 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' has already got a mention, but I don't apologise for ranting on again about this next film:

The Avengers (1998) - Radio Times film reviewer Alan Jones said of this turkey: "Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman couldn't be more miscast as John Steed and Emma Peel, here trying to stop villainous Sir August De Wynter (Sean Connery playing himself again) holding the world's weather to ransom and freezing London to an Arctic standstill. Ruthlessly edited before release and packed with arch one-liners, bad puns and vulgar double entendres, this is misguided and misbegotten to a simply staggering degree, while Jeremiah Chechik's mannered direction screeches the action to an unexciting halt at every flat turn. Terrible special effects and zero chemistry between Fiennes and Thurman make this notorious disaster a total waste of everyone's time and energy."

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964) - a staggering tale about Martians who set out to Earth to kidnap Santa so he can make Martian children happy. However, Santa and two cute Earth kids turn the tables on the Martians. Yes, really...

Catwoman (2004) - generally reviled film version of the DC Comics character. Memorable because star Halle Berry personally accepted her Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actress for this film!

Batman and Robin (1997) - highly criticised because of its ridiculous plot and awful performances (despite stars like George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger). This film single-handedly brought Warner's billion-dollar Batman franchise to a halt for nearly a decade, until 2005 and the release of Batman Begins. Clooney even said that he would personally refund anyone who saw the film.

Mac and Me (1988) - a film about a boy in a wheelchair who befriends an alien. Clearly inspired by 'E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial', the film is little more than a vehicle to promote Coca-Cola and McDonald's. Ronald McDonald even gets a credit in the cast list of this turkey!

No comments: