I Am Only One

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."

- Edward Everett Hale (1822-1909)

"Michael, come closer. You were spared to lead the great fight. Don't turn away in fear. One man can make a difference and you are going to be that man."

- Wilton Knight to Michael Knight (first episode of Knight Rider, 1982)

"John Kennedy believed so strongly that one’s aim should not just be the most comfortable life possible, but that we should all do something to right the wrongs we see, and not just complain about them. We owe that to our country, and our country will suffer if we don’t serve her. He believed that one man can make a difference – and that every man should try."

- Jacqueline Kennedy, 1964

Mr. Spock: [holding his hands to form an circle symbol] One.

Sevrin: [Sevrin and Adam look up and form the same circle symbol with their hands] We are one.

Mr. Spock: One is the beginning.

Adam: Are you one, Herbert?

Mr. Spock: [dead-panned] I am not Herbert.

Adam: [smiles] He's not Herbert. We reach!

- The Way to Eden (Star Trek original series episode, 1969)

H is for Hypocrisy

Several of my work colleagues tell me that I should "Fake it till you make it." It's all about having confidence. If you don't feel confident, you should pretend you are until you gain the experience or tools necessary to real.

I'm not convinced. I struggle so often in this area, trying to be the best that I can be but constantly failing to hit the mark. In fact, it only reinforces to me the fact that I need to be more understanding when I come across others who don't get it right either. Lord, help me to understand, to be more honest and to be myself rather than someone I am not. I also need to be more forgiving!

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV)

Challenging Negativity (Fighting Back When The ANTs Attack)

(I saw this pic on a blog that I follow. Thanks Meridian for inspiring this post)

Is this you?

I certainly can identify with it.

Surrounded by a whole host of different comments and asides throughout the day, what's the one thing that I end up dwelling on when my head eventually hits the pillow? The negative comment. (sigh)

I'm reliably informed that psychologists use the term “automatic negative thoughts” to describe this sort of thing. ANTs, for short.

Just like their real-world counterparts, these ANTs are not so easy to deal with if their numbers are plentiful - that is, if you let the negative thoughts overpower you. It's a mind-set problem.

Get yourself stuck in a loop, and you'll end up having the same negative thoughts - again and again.

Here's one way to combat this:

It's All Gone Pete Tong

The title for this post is a reference to a piece of modern cockney rhyming slang, a reference to the BBC Radio 1 DJ Pete Tong. It means that "it's all gone wrong."

Sometimes, all the pieces fit. It all comes together. It's all proceeding well. As I often say, "it's going like a well-oiled machine"...

And yet, I'm still not entirely happy.

I'm still looking out for the problem. When things are going well ("perhaps too well" -  why do I say it that way?) - I always tend to be looking over my shoulder for something to go wrong... I don't know where it is - or indeed, what it is. But I know it's there to trip me up...

Ahhh, self-sabotage. There you are again! I'm familiar with the way you operate. Why is it that you show up about now, so that I always end up thinking that way?

Is there somehow something deep inside me that still cries out:  

• "It's never going to happen. Not for you..."
• “I’m not worth it...”
• “I can’t...”
• "Someone else might be able to achieve this, but not me..."
• "I'm just not ready for this yet.."

Is it fear? An overwhelming fear of exposing myself and my point of view to the outside world?

Some part of me that says I don’t deserve to be happy or content?

Or is it a lack of belief -  perhaps I don't have what it takes to make this work?

This is not true. 

I don't need to look over my shoulder. 
I can do it.

I need to keep telling myself.