6 October 2014

Sometimes The Bear Gets You

I don't know anybody who deliberately sets out to have a bad day. Every new day is pristine, new, unwritten. A blank canvas to paint on. A fresh start.

But I can think of plenty of people who try their very best to help others, only to have that help thrown back in their face - suddenly, they're on the receiving end of a tirade of abuse. My heart goes out to these caring people. They don't deserve that sort of treatment. It's awful - but it happens.

The title of this blog entry comes from a misquotation of a comment from Elwin Charles "Preacher" Roe. He was a pitcher who played Major League Baseball between 1938 - 1954 (apart from his military service in World War Two). He was renowned for his amazing control over the ball. But even he had his bad days.

On one occasion he was taken out of the game very early on, saying "Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you".

It's very true. Some people can be rude, obnoxious, downright unhelpful. Sometimes 'the bear gets you' and you're suffering, hurt, questioning why someone could be so ungrateful...

But that's no reason not to keep trying to help them ... and that's why I keep coming back to the "Paradoxical Commandments", a reading that I blogged about a year or two ago.

Just Do It Anyway. Make a difference.


Anonymous said...

Good Morning,

Sometimes you need to know when to stop trying to help someone.

A few years ago I encountered someone who, undoubtedly, wanted to help me. Sadly, their enthusiasm to help me blinded them to my identity. I pointed this out, but they wouldn't accept my words and, naturally, I became angry. Very angry.

Yes, I regret that. For both our sakes. But they should have seen the red light and stopped.


The Artful Dodger.

Colin Machan said...

I understand where you are coming from.

However, part of our calling to help others is to keep on trying.

We should keep trying to find ways to help - despite the difficulties, the problems, the adverse reactions, the tears.

Yes, sure, it's risky. We might get hurt. It's often tiring! But we should do it anyway, and keep on doing it. Because the alternative is to walk away, not to care.

And that's not right. :)

Anonymous said...

Good Afternoon,

Is it good stewardship of our time and talents to continue to try to help someone who is clearly distressed by our efforts, however well-meant they may be? Is that compassion?

There are no 'One Size Fits All' solutions to many deep-rooted issues. Surely, therefore, we are wise to employ tact and discretion?

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this.


The Artful Dodger.

Colin Machan said...

However, actually I agree with you. Everyone is different. No 'One Size Fits All' here. And tact and discretion should be used.

You can't make people accept your help. But I will listen. And I will still offer to help. And I'll keep offering if I think I can help.

Because, like someone I know "I don't believe in the No-Win scenario".