15 April 2009

Misunderstood? part two

So I've been through all the usual questions, the challenges. I've worked out where I think I ought to be, and tried to work out how to get there. Back came the answer 'God will make a way'. But I've still been trying to work out for myself which way I need to go. I've come along with the best of intentions, and often found myself taken for a ride by my peers, who are happy to use my willingness to serve. I've asked the question “why is this happening to me?"as I struggle through problems others seem to breeze through. I try my best, but my best doesn't seem to be good enough.

And of course it isn't. Nothing I do will ever be good enough. When trials come, God is at work within me, shaping me into the person I need to be. Not necessarily for now, but for future service. I've just misunderstood what is being done. In fact, I've misunderstood the whole object. It's not what I can do for God. It's what He can do for me. I'm a work in progress! God's hard at work with his tools, checking my progress with his plumbline.

You see, I've often said to others that they need to be a 'human being', not a human doing. However, applying that concept to my life has been ... er ... difficult. There's always something to do! So, taking this truth and applying them to the two points I blogged about last time:

I am a Salvationist, chosen to be a soldier.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bare fruit.”
John 15:16

That God is calling me to something deeper.
That calling isn't necessarily what else can I do for Him - but who I can be for Him. God's the one with work to do - and it's already under way.

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