Keeping Your Cool

The last few days in the UK have been a particular challenge. It's been so hot!

We don't tend to get such a long run of hot weather in this country, so tempers can get a little frayed. Nancy Molitor (assistant professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioural science at North-western University Feinberg School of Medicine) confirmed that hot and humid weather is known to be associated with increases in aggression and violence, as well as a lower general mood.

We all have trouble sleeping, battling dehydration and even problems travelling because of the heat. Is it any wonder people get a little snappy?

I know I do. So, if I have been ratty this week, I'm sorry. However, I know there have been others that have been as well. Perhaps a few things have been said that shouldn't have been.

Let's draw a line and move on.

Ephesians 4:32 (CEV)
Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word...

I have been reflecting for a day or two on a comment someone made recently - that I think just a little too much.

People say I take things (sarcasm, criticism) too much to heart because I tend to dwell on it. Interesting, really, because I always thought that the fact that I dwell on things and try not to react immediately is a strength... I tend to think things through before giving a definitive answer. If you ask me for a quick answer, you will usually get one - but I guarantee that it won't necessarily be the best answer! No, I tend to stall for time... time to think. It's how I operate best.

However, on deeper reflection this is not the image I am portraying. You see, people seem to take note of the first thing that I say; the 'knee-jerk' reaction that they get. My usual standby answer is more often than not an apology. Sorry that I can't do that for you. Sorry that you are upset about that. Sorry this; Sorry that. You may even be sorry for saying sorry!  

Why? I even end up throwing out apologies in situations where it's later revealed that I'm actually in the right! Is this learned behaviour from deep within, telling me to apologise? If so, I guess that sort of instant reaction isn't serving me too well any more...

Folks that are cleverer than I tell me that it's all to do with the plasticity in the brain - how the brain fires. Negative thinking embedded from a couple of particularly nasty experiences in earlier life may be triggering self-deprecating thoughts in me. Telling me "I'm a failure." The fallback position is one of self-defence. Yes, even when I'm in the right!

If this is true, I need to unlearn this. Or, at least, I need to answer differently. Break the habit of the 'knee-jerk' reaction. I've already started to see things as they truly are, not as I have previously perceived them to be. Or, even, how others tell me they should be.

I'm told you can interrupt and (over time) alter these sort of behaviour. I'm looking at this right now. And I believe that, with my Lord's help, I will ultimately become free of it. 

Romans 12:1-2 (MSG)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Repentance: More Than Just 'Sorry'

I've been mulling all evening on something that was mentioned in the meeting today - it was a definition of a word that we don't hear much about nowadays. That word is repentance. We are happy to hear about God's forgiveness, the fact that God's love is for each of us, but we get too uncomfortable in our seats when we're called to repentance first. But we need to hear this - and we need to act on it.

Old Testament references to repentance (in Hebrew) were represented by two verbs: שוב shuv (to return) and נחם nicham (to feel sorrow).

New Testament Greek uses the word μετάνοια (metanoia), a compound word of the preposition 'meta' (after, with), and the verb 'noeo' (to perceive, to think, the result of perceiving or observing). These concepts combine to form a word that means: 'to think differently after'. More than just expressing sorrow, metanoeo implies a complete change of direction. This isn't a minor course correction we are talking about; it's "full reverse", a 180 degree change.

When trying to convey this concept to my family, I mention the fact that 'saying sorry' isn't enough. With constant repetition, the word starts to lose its meaning. No, for 'sorry' to mean anything, there has to be a change to go with it. It's not just 'sorry'; it's 'sorry and I'm going to ensure it will never happen again'. A change of conduct, a complete review and rethink to one's life are standard in such a change.

During SAFE Music School this year we looked closely at the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15). After coming to his senses, the son was clearly sorry about his predicament - but that wasn't enough. He had to swallow his pride, turn himself completely around and head back to his father. Repenting of his earlier lifestyle choices, he headed home. He was soon greeted by his father, overjoyed by the change and welcoming him back with open arms.