Too Much Or Not Enough?

I've been looking at the '40 Acts of Kindness' resource since Lent started a few days ago. There is a link to it here. And already I've encountered a specific and definite challenge... a need for me to reexamine the whole concept of generosity. This was underlined by the message at my home Corps today (although my minister didn't know I had this very post in draft)...

It's a good thing to be known for being generous. However, I know that many people feel they can't give as much as they would like. Either in terms of money, or by using time or talents voluntarily. I get to hear this sort of thing on a regular basis - usually on those days when I am out fundraising.

However, I was challenged the other day with a thought that generosity can often connected to power - and that has started to trouble me just a little bit...

• Does my generosity to others stem from true compassion, or simply from a need to be respected or valued? To have the moral high ground? 
• Am I doing it because everyone else is?
• Do I give just to make me feel good? A warm feeling at the end of the day?

Being truly generous makes you vulnerable. Every penny you give to others is one you can't spend on your own needs. Give away just a little too much, and you run the risk of not having enough to feed or clothe yourself...

Or, thinking in terms of time, can you get so busy looking after others that you are often neglecting your own needs? Leaving yourself out? Neglecting your own household, your own family?

And so the big question is - how much is too much?

I must admit that I suffer from feelings of  confusion here; of embarrassment; of guilt; of vulnerability. I want to make a difference. I try and give what I can but am constantly challenged to give more; to do much more. I want to be a blessing to others. I realise that my generosity is my own choice; however it is one that can often upset others (I get asked at least once a week "why do you give up so much of your own free time doing this?"). Yes, I get criticised for what I do. I have been hurt quite deeply in the past.

So, is it just for my own self-gratification? OK, let's take that out of the equation. It's tricky - being a member of a uniformed organisation makes you awfully visible. However, over the last three years I have tried to keep some my own acts of generosity quiet. It can be difficult (some people find out and take time to tell me off later!).  However, I have found that is remarkably effective. But is that right? Jesus taught us to "not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing" (Matthew 6:3). Still trying to work through this concept...

Is it because I want to feel good? Still working on that one... but as long as the main reason is to make others feel better, surely I am on the right lines...

And another thing... A reading the other day highlighted another fact: that I can only give because God has first given to me. I can't give what I haven't got. But I can give what I have.

It concluded that giving is inseparably linked to receiving; Therefore I can only begin to be used by God to meet another’s need whilst I am allowing God to meet my own. And that means admitting my own vulnerability (something that I find extremely difficult)...

Hmmm... comments welcomed...

Preparing For Lent

John 3:19-21 (The Message)

"This is the crisis we're in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won't come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is."

I sat there in the Prayer Meeting, waiting for God. In fact, yearning for God. Eagerly waiting to welcome that God-light into my life. I had come to the meetings today with a formidable list of petitions for my Lord; it had reduced over the course of the day to a mere solitary item. To seek, once again, God's will for my life. The light shone into me; and I got my answer. 

The light revealed to me that there was a practical task, well in reality an awesome challenge, in store for me for the Lent period.

But I'm not daunted. He knows me. He knows I can make it. I just need to keep in the light.

Five Steps To Freedom

“He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty” - Lao Tzu (Chinese philosopher)

I blogged the other day about setting a goal to break a habit. Most websites I have read on the subject have highlighted a series of steps that you need to take. Here's my summary of the advice I've found, taken as five steps. I don't claim to be an expect, just an interested amateur!

Awareness: First, you must admit that you have a problem. How is this habit affecting you, affecting others around you? Think objectively: why do you do it? Is there a hidden need within you that you are trying to fulfill? Think it through.

Wanting to Change: How can you beat something if you're not thoroughly determined to quit? You must convince yourself that breaking this habit is well worth the effort involved. Keep in mind how much better life would be once this issue is behind you...

Commitment: Make the decision. Whatever it takes. Seriously! If you want to regain control of your life, you need to commit to it.

Consistent Action: Take consistent daily action to break that bad habit, whilst at the same time taking action to develop a new one in its place. Remember to replace... the "cold turkey" approach (just suddenly quitting) is extremely stressful and for most people simply doesn't work.

Be sure to reward any positive steps taken towards changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. Even if it's only one small step. It is all about being consistent. However, if you stumble, don't worry. Pick yourself up and start again tomorrow. It's only failure if you don't get up again!

Perseverance and Prayer: Stick at it! There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it; when you reach that brick wall; when you say to yourself that it's just too hard; that you are too 'weak' to change. That's where I would suggest you need God to step in. That's when you will require perseverance and prayer.

Pray through the points that you covered before; reviewing the rewards you are striving for, visualising how much better your life would be once rid of this habit. Draw on the Lord's strength.

While you work through these five steps - encourage yourself! Get support from others; read up about people who have been in similar situations and broke their bad habits. Keep positive!

(note: it's important here to make a clear distinction between habit and addiction. Please seek professional help if it is at all possible your issue is in any way an addiction.

Ditching That Bad Habit!

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."- Aristotle (384-322 BC)

It is so easy for any of us to slip into a habit. Regular repetition of actions become habits, which, inevitably begin to shape our future. For example, the habitual gambler is therefore more likely to lose his house than the average man.

I'm reliably informed that the breaking a bad habit usually three weeks of dedicated effort. In difficult cases, it can take as long as a year! But it might take forever unless you commit yourself to change...

Many people try to conquer a bad habit or to start a good one at a particular time of year. The key to success? Commitment!

The habit I'm trying to ditch isn't a physical one, it's a particular mind-set - one that has been established for years. I'd overcome it for a while, but put me in the wrong situation and I'm back there again. I've seen a degree of success in this area this year, so now's the time to hit it head on and kill it off for good. I think Lent is the right time for me, for so many reasons. I am assured any bad habit can be eradicated if you commit yourself to the change.

I'll be looking at a few steps tomorrow which you could consider if you want to join me for these forty days of Lent. Prayer support would also be good!