When All Is Going Wrong ... Keep Going

What an awful day yesterday was. It was dreadful. Everything seemed to be conspiring against me. Every way I turned I could hear negative voices telling me my situation was simply impossible. Some in my own head, some from people I tried to phone yesterday in an effort to solve it quickly.

Did I give up?

No. 

I prayed and then I went to bed. Trying to sort it out when I was so tired was impossible.

And I got up the next day, prayed again, and set to work solving what appeared to be impossible the previous day.

It's now late afternoon on that next day. Okay, some things aren't solved, however they are in the hands of people I can trust. The way through this is much clearer.

Despite the negativity, the less-than-helpful comments, the train strikes that slowed down my journey to sort this issue out. I kept going despite all this, and won through.

Don't give up. Don't give in.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;

    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 “All who rage against you
    will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
    will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies,
    you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
    will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.

Isaiah 41:10-13 (New International Version)

...sshhh...

 

Look forward...

Luke 9:61-62

New International Version - UK

61 Still another said, ‘I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.’

62 Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’

Be Kind

 

A Million Reasons

 

Biblical?

Two Twenty Pound Notes

Here are two £20 notes. 

The one on the left has been through a horrible time. It has been abused and just a complete mess. 

The one on the right is pristine & crisp, not touched.

A question... is the one on the left worth less than the one on the right?

Don't let anyone put you down just because you've been through a tough time. We are ALL equal. We are worth the same value. We just have perfect imperfections which make us who we are!

A thought shared with me for World Mental Health day.

Never Wish Them Pain

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. "
(Romans 12:14 New International Version)

Stones

"...a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them..."

Ecclesiastes 3:5a (New International Version - UK)

Walking The Fine Line

There’s a fine line between supporting and ‘fixing’. 

Take, for example, the way I act now towards my children. Both of mine are now fully grown, and each have lives of their own. However, they still reach out to Dad for help from time to time. As they should! And I'm always there to help. To support. 

However, I'm not there to fix. Just like when you teach them to ride a bike, I've had to learn when to pull my hand away and when to keep it there. 

What I can do is help them find the wisdom, even the strength to figure out what happens now. This is the line between fixing and supporting. 

And, do you know what? That line is there for many different types of relationships, not just between parent and child. 

Things I Worry About

On the Topic of Assumptions

Be Kind

“Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

Z is for ZZZ on time

Key to a good mental attitude is a regular sleep pattern. It's something that I haven't always followed, to my detriment. Ten years of being a Street Pastor (however much I enjoyed it) really upset my body clock for a few days afterwards! 

Right now I like to prepare for sleep with a set routine:

• I like to start and quieten down during the early evening. I really don't appreciate events that go on and on without a set end time!
• I try to go to bed at the same time every night (I am an early bird, so I like to be in bed between 9 and 10pm)
• I will turn off my mobile phone each night (so I don't get disturbed by notifications or even phone calls in the middle of the night. And yes, it used to regularly happen!)
• I will leave a cold drink by my bed to sip if I wake up in the night. That gets me back to sleep quickly.
• I try to get up at the same time every morning (see above - I'm usually up and about between 5 and 6am). 
• I don't use an alarm clock - I find that this sleep pattern means I don't need one. If I need to be somewhere important I will set a reminder on my phone however 99% of the time I'm already up and waiting for it to go off!
• I used to wake up to a talk radio station but the comments by the radio presenter used to get me in such a foul mood that it was quickly removed from my routine. One less thing to carry if I go away!
• When I wake up, I like a cup of coffee or two a good couple of hours before breakfast.

This seems to work for me. What works for you?

Y is for Yes

I want to say yes to the Lord of my life,
Say yes to His will and design.
I want to say yes to His plan for my life,
And no to ambitions of mine.
I want to say yes to the Lord of my life,
My will to His will to align.

Yes to Your will, and Your will alone.
Yes to Your plans and no to my own.
Take all I have Lord, I cannot give less;
Here is my answer- it's yes.  

(from 'I Want To Say Yes', lyrics by General John Gowans)

X is for Xenophobia

I've blogged about Xenophobia before. 

It's a handy X-word for a task like this.

Xenophobia is the fear or hatred of anything which is perceived as being foreign or strange. The topic goes further and deeper than just racism...

It was good to see The Salvation Army asking its members about this topic at the Congress. All are welcome at our churches or centres - and should be. 

W is for Work-Life Balance

The pressure of an increasingly demanding work culture is one of the biggest challenges to society’s mental health.

Tricky, then, when your work is for your own church. And people will still contact you after hours "just for a quick chat"... 

V is for Victory

In the name of Jesus,
in the name of Jesus,
We have the victory.
In the name of Jesus,
in the name of Jesus,
Demons will have to flee.

Who can tell what God can do?
Who can tell of His love for you?
In the name of Jesus, Jesus,
We have the victory.
(lyrics: David J Evans)

U is for Understanding

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6, New International Version

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7, New International Version

T is for (Oh so very) Tired

 

I have discovered much about myself over the past few years. Understanding yourself is vital; each of us are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and unique. What works for me may not work for you. I'm grateful I found out who I am when I did.

I now know that:

• I am an introvert. I can survive in the world but I get exhausted quickly by social interaction. I can do crowds but not for long!
• I am an Early Bird rather than a Night Owl. By early evening (just when so many are looking to hit the local clubs) I'm looking forward to hitting the pillow. 

You want to get to know me?An early morning rendezvous please, one to one. And bring coffee!

S is for SatNav

I am old enough to remember life without a satellite navigation system. Which is okay, because I like to rely on my own map (the one in my head) if I need to get anywhere. I have to rely on the tech if I have to go anywhere that I've never been to - or when I haven't been there for a while. There's always a map book in the car (under the driver's seat) in emergencies. Yes, an old fashioned paper map book.

The recent Congress in Birmingham was a case in point. I wouldn't have been able to get there without the tech. However, the number of road closures that were in place in the City centre sent me scatty. The City was due to host the Commonwealth Games and had shut over 200+ roads closures and even some parking sites! The map would have been useless - even with Sat Nav I kept going in what seemed like circles!

I was so pleased to eventually park and trust to my own feet!

R is for Resources

When we have exhausted our store of endurance
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun...
(lyrics from 'He Giveth More Grace", by Annie Johnson Flint)

Q is for Quiet

We all need a little space to ourselves so we can recharge. This ensures we can function at our best and enjoy time with others. 

It's just that introverts like myself need more of it. For introverts, time alone is as essential as sleeping or eating. If we don't get enough alone time we get... cranky!

That's why I tended to scoot off quickly at the end of the Congress session while so many others were milling around. And why I was often alone in the Congress marketplace well before I needed to be. Peace and Quiet! Bliss!

P is for Performance

The Together 2022 event featured a whole host of different performances from a variety of bands and singing groups.

However, one main difference between a traditional music group and that of a Salvation Army group is the reason behind the performance. And I think that makes all the difference.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17, New International Version

 

O is for Overthinking

A bit of honesty now.

I messed up over the weekend. I thought that one person was someone I knew well, when it turned out to be someone completely different who I knew a little. An easy mistake to make, perhaps. However, my brain won't let me forget it...

A week after it happened and I still can't help but try and justify to myself why things worked out as they did. I relive the moment again and again. My conscious self interrogates my unconscious self in a way that makes me think of gaslighting... surely I have remembered it wrong?

If I behaved inappropriately, I'm sorry.

N is for (Here is the) News

It's important to keep up with the news - particularly in times like these when situations change quickly and you need to be aware what you are supposed to do; what the experts say you should do... Even throughout the Congress I had one ear on the news updates.

However, how draining it is to hear some of these news reports... and consuming too much bad news can trigger mental health issues. And even when we are using the internet we are bombarded with information - some from traditional media, some from social media. 

”Some may log onto social media apps with intentions other than to get news updates but may inadvertently get exposed to news posts from connections,” said Jacqueline Sperling, a clinical psychologist and faculty member at Harvard Medical School, in a comment to CNBC.

Be careful what you take in. It can affect your mental attitude. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8, New International Version

 

M is for Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a technique you can learn to be fully present and engaged in the moment without judging anything. It can help you manage your thoughts, feelings and mental health.

When my feelings seem to overwhelm me, when I can't tell what is true and what isn't, when my emotions drown out the voice of sanity... I can stop and press the reset button! I'm just learning my way through this technique at the moment so am not particularly good at this - however it has already helped me.

It may well help you. 

L is for Love

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39, New International Version

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

1 John 4:16, New International Version

K is for Kinfolk (Family)

 

My most precious resource, given to me by God. This was made very clear to me over the Congress weekend.

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
    the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
    are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
    with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
    you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.

Psalm 127:3-5, The Message

J is for Jesus

 Who else?

King of kings, Majesty
God of Heaven living in me
Gentle Saviour, closest friend
Strong Deliverer, beginning and end
All within me falls at Your throne
Your Majesty, I can but bow
I lay my all before You now
In royal robes I don't deserve
I live to serve Your Majesty.

Lyrics: Jarrod Cooper

I is for Integrity

As part of the Commissioning section of the event, on Sunday morning, Emily Haigh was ordained and commissioned as a Salvation Army officer. She made a sacred commitment to love God and love others.

What a challenge!

Watch the livestream from the service on TSA's YouTube channel: the link is here.  

H is for Hotels

Hotels that are booked for these sort of business events (like the Congress) can vary from the intimate to the large hotel chain. All have their advantages - however if you have all of these (as my hotel did this time around) that is a definite, definite plus:

• Comfortable room with air conditioning
• A bath with piping hot water
• A towelling robe to use after the bath!
• A large screen TV with a great selection of channels (some were even in French and German!)
• A large selection for breakfast the next morning - spoilt for choice!

It's a wonder that I left the room the next day!

G is for Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a modern-day form of bullying, where someone makes their victim doubt their own reality by making them believe their own memories are faulty. 

According to Wikipedia the expression derives from the title of the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband slowly manipulates his wife into believing that she is descending into insanity.

Bullying is wrong, whatever way you look at it. Ask questions! Hold on to the truth. 

F is for Friendship

Friendship is a crucial element in protecting our mental health. Our friends can keep us grounded, help us get things in perspective, and help us manage the problems that life throws at us. My close friends are so precious to me. 

However, Facebook friends aren't the same. Here's what Facebook says about 'friending'...

Friending on Facebook helps you stay connected with people you care about. Adding a friend means you may see each other's activity in Feed, Stories and Photos.

When you want to add a friend on Facebook, bear in mind that:

• You should send friend requests to people you know and trust. Add a friend by searching for them or directly from People you may know.
• You can control who can friend and follow you by editing your privacy settings.
• If you don't want someone to see you on Facebook, learn how to unfriend or block them.
• You can have up to 5,000 friends at a time.

With very few exceptions, I have met everyone who I am friends with on Facebook. 

E is for Exhaustion

In addition to the heat exhaustion you may encounter if you don't drink enough, introverts like myself need to guard against the physical exhaustion you encounter from just being in a crowded environment - like the Congress. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I love being in the venue - however I prefer to be there doing a job. I learnt this very early on through volunteering at a number of Army events (Roots, SAFE/enabled, etc) and it fits me well. A little bit of social interaction is fine. Make it too noisy or too intense and I start getting a bit twitchy!

By the time there is a break, or I am at the end of the day, I'm quickly away to recover - some time alone, a good meal and relaxing with a good book or the latest box set. 

D is for Drink

 

Another factor to bear in mind over the recent weekend was the need to carry water. 

Water is such a precious resource, however in a heatwave - your water bottle is more than that - it is your best friend!

Too little water could lead you to become dehydrated, and a loss of fluids and salt could produce a upset in balance in the human body. This, combined with the lowered blood pressure due to the heat, can lead to heat exhaustion (and symptoms such as dizziness and confusion).

Remember to drink!

C is for Congress

 

What is a Congress?

According to the ICCA (the International Congress and Convention Association) a congress is a "regular coming together on a representational basis of several hundreds - or even thousands - of individuals belonging to a single professional, cultural, religious or other group."

The Salvation Army’s first International Congress was held in 1886 to celebrate TSA’s 21st anniversary. The event was able to attract two thousand officers from sixteen different nationalities.

See link here

B is for Blanked

The scene was - of course - the recent Salvation Army event in Birmingham. 

Early in the proceedings I met up with an officer couple, and you could tell we were pleased to see each other in person. The feeling was plainly mutual. They knew that I was on the conference site from my post on Social Media, and they had taken pains to seek me out to say hello. With over 1,000 people on site, they had made the effort to find me. I was so pleased.

One of the couple then said something to me that stuck with me all weekend. "I wonder how many of my Facebook friends will come over to see me, welcome me like you did..."

How many walked on by, perhaps too busy to stop and say hello? I noticed a couple...

<sigh>
 

A is for All Together

It was so good to meet up with so many friends and colleagues at the recent Together 2022 event in Birmingham. Particularly after the lack of events due to Covid-19 over the past few years.

The event was actually three events in one! It saw the Symphony Sounds Gospel music concerts, the commissioning and ordination of new Salvation Army officers (ministers), and a Congress event where Salvationists from all over the country got together. 

Did that make this year's event so much more intense? I think so, and I certainly felt it. The intensity of the event is the reason I can't rest, I need to unpack it a little further ...

 

A-Z - positive mental attitude

Where's your head at?

(Y'all know how it be)

Where's your head at?

Where's your head at?

(You don't make it easy on yourself)

Where's your head at?

(What you give is what you get...

Is what you get... what you get...) 

(Song by Basement Jaxx. Lyrics: Simon Ratcliffe, Gary Anthony James Webb, Felix Major Buxton )

I've just come back from a long weekend working at an Salvation Army event. Lots of high points. And a handful of lows in the mix, too. My mind is a whirl, trying to sort out my thoughts. It's rather chaotic in my head at the moment.

It's also that time of year where I look for a topic to blog about. Alphabetically, A. through to Z, for 26 consecutive days.

What better topic could I pick? Keeping a positive mental attitude when you are working away from home. 

Some of the posts may seem a bit random however all are connected, albeit tangentally. It's a bit of a stream of consciousness. However, this should help me make some sense of how I am - and how I feel - at the moment. 

Apart from a little weary...

Hold On To The Truth

 

No good deed goes unpunished...

The phrase 'No good deed goes unpunished' is a sardonic commentary on the frequency with which acts of kindness backfire on those who offer them. In other words, those who help others are doomed to suffer as a result of their helpfulness. (Wikipedia)

How true. (Me)

Normal ...

 

Change ...

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer one
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different one
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

(chorus from Changes by David Bowie)

“Change, my dear… and it seems not a moment too soon.”

(words of the Sixth Doctor, 'The Caves of Androzani")

Am I Just Playing A Part?

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely Players;
They have their Exits and their Entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His Acts being seven ages.

Words from William Shakespeare's As You Like It, Act 2 Scene 7

“Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theatre, but the God who made you won’t be applauding."

Matthew 6:1 (The Message)

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15 (New International Version)

Have faith...

Focus on the things you can control...

I've got a copy of the Serenity Prayer on my wall at home. It says:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The plaque has been on the wall for a while. However, the world has changed significantly since it was put up there. 

When I glance up at it, I smile. It is so apt at the moment. Because things are changing so quickly, and (like many) I simply can't keep up with the changes. Even just a couple of years ago, I could have told you what was happening in my life, what was going to happen. Not so now. There are so many things that I've given up, or simply don't do now. There is such uncertainty. So many things planned, then cancelled or rearranged.

Is this an effect of the pandemic? Of changes in society? Of other people's decisions affecting my life? Of my ever-advancing years?

I really don't know if it's just one thing - it's a combination of things. However, I know I can't go back to the way things used to me. Things have moved on.

So - I need to take it slow, and focus on the things where I can take control. New challenges, new opportunities. 

And I need to stop worrying about the rest. All the things I used to do. The many years of service that I completed, and have now had to let go. I don't mourn their passing any more. I celebrate the fact that I did these things, and made a difference.

And I know there will be new things to do, just around the corner ...

"I keep being asked when we can go 'back to normal' or 'like it was before'. My personal thoughts: We've added a new disease to our population, more infectious and more severe than flu. The world pre-2020 no longer exists - we may want it to, but it just doesn't." - Christina Pagel, Professor of Operational Research and a member of the UK Government's SAGE Committee, in a Twitter quote... 

"Th' whole worl's in a terrible state o' chassis" – Captain Boyle, Act III, Juno and the Paycock (Sean O'Casey)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV UK)

Don't Quit!

 

A Million Reasons

A Prayer...