Please take me away from here...

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep...
(lyrics from "Fireflies" by Owl City)

This is a scarily honest post, be warned. Scary for me.

I've had more than a few visits to the hospital last month with a mystery eye problem. So many that I ended up scaring myself and many, many others who know me and care for me. I'm sorry about that. I really appreciate those of you who reached out to me on email and on social media with prayer support. And my family thanks you, too.

Like the lyric says, I didn't want to be where I ended up. Still don't want to be here, but then why not me? None of us are immune from illness... And sometimes I felt awfully alone. There were too many scenarios to choose from, many involving the treat of major surgery and even worse. I felt quite down sometimes...

However, when things were darkest, and when I really needed Him, God was amazingly and powerfully there with me. He assured me that He was with me, and I need not be scared. The care I received from St Thomas's Hospital in Central London was excellent. I know I am in the best of hands - in God's hands and in safe hands with this hospital...

The treatment I am now on threatens me with mood swings and insomnia (both things I am all too familiar with in my normal life), so I suspect that I will need to take care not to push myself too far - in the month where many Salvationists are out there, going the extra mile to collect for The Big Collection. [sigh]

I would be right there with you. Next year, maybe. Right now, I need to be taking a bit of a back seat.

If I am up all night tonight I'll be praying for you all collecting. I may as well, I'll be awake anyway...

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?

    to be out of your sight?

If I climb to the sky, you’re there!

    If I go underground, you’re there!

If I flew on morning’s wings

    to the far western horizon,

You’d find me in a minute—

    you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!

    At night I’m immersed in the light!”

It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;

    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

(Psalm 139 7-12 : The Message translation)