Context Is Everything

Do you ever wonder why, sometimes, you simply don't quite 'get it'? Yep, that's been me quite a bit recently. I haven't really been feeling 100% lately, a whole host of things have happened that have knocked me back a bit. I know I have had quite a lot on my mind. I've been trying to work through the various problems however that hasn't helped how I have felt; it just left me overwhelmed and overtired and, quite frankly, 'zonked'. It's obvious to some people that I wasn't quite right, they could tell by the way I reacted. I didn't quite get the joke; I didn't seem to react to the usual 'cues', or suddenly 'over-reacted' spectacularly when something unpleasant happens.

Had a day off today - therefore I had a moment or two to take stock. I began to realise that I seem to have lost the context to my life.

I watched an episode of QI recently which neatly illustrated an aspect of this. It depicted a shark, swimming towards the camera, with the music from Jaws playing menacingly in the background, What was the scariest part of the whole clip? The close up on the shark's teeth? The anticipation of the approach of the creature? Nope, it was the music. They played the same clip with different music, and it wasn't the same...

And that's been me. The music hasn't been right. Do you know, I used to wish that I could say my life sounded like this at the moment. But it doesn't.  (and I'm not sure I could take too much of that sort of soundtrack either!)

I have been yearning and yearning to make some drastic changes in my life.

However, I now know that's not in fact what I want. What I need is to get my life back into context.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

I've tried to lean too much on my own knowledge and understanding to deal with the issues in my life. And it didn't work. I need God's wisdom in my life. However, I also need to get God's discernment in my life, so I can tell the difference between the wisdom of God and the whispers of the enemy. Both are evident in my life at the moment. I need to tell them apart! It's so hard... I can't tell if people are trying to help me or to lead me astray...

I wrote a little while ago about Rhema, and the little light that suddenly came on in my life. To be honest, it's that little light that is the only thing keeping me going at the moment. That was God's voice, I know that for sure. Everything else is in doubt.

Dear Lord, times are really hard right now.  I really need to hear Your voice. Give me the discernment so I can hear Your voice and Your voice alone. I need Your wisdom. Speak to me in the way You know I will hear You best. Your Will be done, Lord. 

In Jesus Name, I pray. 
Amen.