We've reached the last part of this expanding series on forgiveness and how hurt people can reach a state of healing. It's a lesson that I've had to learn the hard way! It's been a constant effort to push myself out of my comfort zone in order to complete this series. It has occupied my mind for pretty much the entire Lent period. It wouldn't go away; kept coming back, and back... And we're here now. :)
The last three parts of this strand have all focused on reviewing and revealing your hurts - depending on who you are, that could the trickiest bit, although some of us are good at this, figuratively 'licking our wounds' as a way of attempting to heal our wounded emotions. Having recently been through this stage, I've uncovered other hurts that I never knew about...
Others, though, try to bury their hurts and internalise their pain, reliving it again and again. That was me a few years ago. It doesn't work. You need to bring things out in the open in order to heal and move on. I don't necessarily mean announce it to the world - but it might come to that.
You need to make a start - even if it's small. Find a friend or counsellor who has been through the same experiences as you. Confide in them. Believe me, it's a significant step toward to letting go of it. They will tell you from their own experience and confirm that it's essential to the road to healing... bring things up the surface. You wouldn't put a plaster on a cut arm without moving the sleeve out of the way...
And then it's time - the key step to moving on... make some appointments with the Great Healer.
Bring all this - what has been uncovered, all your feelings, your hurts - to Jesus. He is the healer of wounds par excellence. The Gospels teem with examples.
"If you want to, you can heal me."
And Jesus answers, "Of course, I want to."
Tell Him the whole story. How much it has hurt, how you've lived with feelings of revenge, of bitterness. Relive the bad experiences - with Jesus at your side. There will be tears. Let them come. Then take note. Listen to Jesus' own response to your suffering. Open yourself up to Him. Let Him assure you that you are loved.
Come to Him. And keep coming - I am reminded that results may take a while (Mark 8:22-26). There may be a lot to fix. God may have to heal wounds so deep that they are still unknown to you. Remember that 'hidden hurt' I mentioned before? A hairline crack that no-one else can see. But He can...
He'll ask you to put aside your hurts, your concerns, your thoughts, your feelings. He may want a regular 'appointment' - (perhaps 20 minutes, twice a day) - centring yourself on Him. This is where I am at the moment.
How do you know when you're healed?
We'll, I am assured it is not when you have forgotten that you have been hurt.
It's when Christ's victory in your life completely overpowers these destructive memories - and any pain you may have felt before.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
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