I've been wondering about this sort of thing whilst compiling my 2014 'to-do' list during the last few days. This is because some of the targets that I need to set for the New Year are quite daunting, to put it frankly.
I am aware of all the right things to say in such a situation. 'Aim high'. 'Be bold'. 'Step out of your comfort zone'.
I must admit to a lack of confidence in some areas; I have trouble convincing myself that these bold plans will ever succeed. I don't possess the brash, arrogant confidence of youth (did I ever have it?). I lack cheek, nerve, bottle. I can't just breeze through life. I seem to struggle every step of the way. (Yes, I know struggling is character-building. How much more character do I need?)
I must admit to a lack of confidence in some areas; I have trouble convincing myself that these bold plans will ever succeed. I don't possess the brash, arrogant confidence of youth (did I ever have it?). I lack cheek, nerve, bottle. I can't just breeze through life. I seem to struggle every step of the way. (Yes, I know struggling is character-building. How much more character do I need?)
I guess that with maturity I am even more acutely aware of when I am overstepping my own boundaries. The ground is shifting; I often feel well out of my comfort zone. My inner voice screams at me, “You don’t belong here!” Stress goes through the roof.
I try to 'talk myself positive'. Try to 'walk the walk'. 'Act as if'. Sometimes it works. Sometimes things go awry because this fragile semblance of confidence is undone with a thoughtless word; an embarrassing situation. Picking the pieces up can take a few days...
Why aren't I feeling it and believing it? I am led back round in a circle to one important question? Who am I supposed to be? Am I trying to be someone that I am not? If so, that's why I fail.
During 2013 members of my church were involved in the 'Purpose Driven Life' course, which did trigger a number of ideas in my mind. OK, 2014 needs to be the year that I need to embrace my purpose - shake a few things up - reprofile my life. Let's only set targets in those areas where I know that I have a particular calling. And then, once set, I need to walk every step of the way with Him. Only then can I be sure of the ground that I walk on.
I need to believe in God's purpose for my life.
I need to fully embrace the truth.
I need to set targets to enable me to do this.
1 Peter 4:10 (NLT)
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.
During 2013 members of my church were involved in the 'Purpose Driven Life' course, which did trigger a number of ideas in my mind. OK, 2014 needs to be the year that I need to embrace my purpose - shake a few things up - reprofile my life. Let's only set targets in those areas where I know that I have a particular calling. And then, once set, I need to walk every step of the way with Him. Only then can I be sure of the ground that I walk on.
I need to believe in God's purpose for my life.
I need to fully embrace the truth.
I need to set targets to enable me to do this.
1 Peter 4:10 (NLT)
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.
No comments:
Post a Comment