30 December 2013

Setting Targets

"I know what I have got to do. However, how am I supposed to go about doing it?"

I've been wondering about this sort of thing whilst compiling my 2014 'to-do' list during the last few days. This is because some of the targets that I need to set for the New Year are quite daunting, to put it frankly.

I am aware of all the right things to say in such a situation. 'Aim high'. 'Be bold'. 'Step out of your comfort zone'.

I must admit to a lack of confidence in some areas; I have trouble convincing myself that these bold plans will ever succeed.  I don't possess the brash, arrogant confidence of youth (did I ever have it?). I lack cheek, nerve, bottle. I can't just breeze through life. I seem to struggle every step of the way. (Yes, I know struggling is character-building. How much more character do I need?)

I guess that with maturity I am even more acutely aware of when I am overstepping my own boundaries. The ground is shifting; I often feel well out of my comfort zone. My inner voice screams at me, “You don’t belong here!” Stress goes through the roof.

I try to 'talk myself positive'. Try to 'walk the walk'.  'Act as if'. Sometimes it works. Sometimes things go awry because this fragile semblance of confidence is undone with a thoughtless word; an embarrassing situation. Picking the pieces up can take a few days...

Why aren't I feeling it and believing it? I am led back round in a circle to one important question? Who am I supposed to be? Am I trying to be someone that I am not? If so, that's why I fail.

During 2013 members of my church were involved in the 'Purpose Driven Life' course, which did trigger a number of ideas in my mind. OK, 2014 needs to be the year that I need to embrace my purpose -  shake a few things up - reprofile my life. Let's only set targets in those areas where I know that I have a particular calling. And then, once set, I need to walk every step of the way with Him. Only then can I be sure of the ground that I walk on.

I need to believe in God's purpose for my life.
I need to fully embrace the truth.
I need to set targets to enable me to do this.

1 Peter 4:10 (NLT)
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.

No comments: