18 September 2012

Who am I?

A really deep question for today... one that follows a few days of prayer and soul-searching. Who am I?

I already know part of the answer. It's in my description at the side of this very blog:

A member of The Salvation Army; husband and father of two; fan of popular science fiction; seeker after truth.

Perhaps, I ought to take into account what I do for a living? Now, I am well aware that most people categorise people by their jobs. I've had a whole host of different roles over the last  twenty or thirty years - paid and unpaid - however I must admit that I don't think I 'fit' any one of these roles in particular. In fact, the phrase that best sums up my opinion are the words "I am a human being, not a human doing". So, I dismiss that. What I do isn't necessarily who I am. It's who I am that determines what I do.... So, who am I?

Let's add in to the mix what I have learnt about myself over the past year or two. Things about my own temperament, the things I am gifted in. And of course there are the darker aspects of my life. My moods, my base nature. What makes me tick. Or doesn't. My strengths, my weaknesses.

And then of course there are those things about me that I am aware of from my journey of faith. The fact that I am loved by God, my spiritual gifting that comes from Him. The indwelling and inspiration of God's Holy Spirit which encourages me to do things for Him and to carry on even when others tell me it's pointless. Even times where an act of self-sacrifice gave me a joy quite unlike anything I've ever experienced!

However, deep down under all of that I find there's still something else... Something I haven't discovered yet? Something that is so obvious that I've simply overlooked it? A missing piece to the jigsaw that I need to factor in.

Can't quite see it at the moment. Prayers welcomed.

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