Over the past few years I have spoken quite a lot in this blog about bitterness. Having had some spare time lately to reflect, I note that this issue is one with which I've particularly struggled, so that's probably why the issue is such a big deal. It's in an effort to finally bring this matter to a conclusion that I wanted to focus for a while on forgiveness.Holding on to anger or bitter resentment about past hurts will hold you back, preventing you from moving on with your life. No-one is immune to hurt; each of us can suffer to one extent or another by the actions of others. Because each of us are unique, a mild irritation to some may cause a deep wound in others.
However, it's how we pick ourselves up from these setbacks that matters at the end of the day. If left unresolved, bitterness will overwhelm you to such an extent that you could end up being unable to enjoy life. That's why scripture speaks of bitterness as being like a weed (see below). If not dealt with, this 'weed' develops deep roots. These roots are sources of anger, bitterness and even vengeance which will sit within you and well up from time to time.
Jesus teaches us to forgive others as Our Father forgives us. However, it's not as easy as just saying "forgive and forget"... Forgetting may well be impossible. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but a conscious decision on your part to forgive may be good news for you. The act of forgiveness can help lessen its grip on you, allowing you the freedom to move on. It may even lead to a degree of understanding for the one who hurt you (although this may not occur).
Forgiveness doesn't minimise or justify the wrong. It simply enables you to carry on, and to try and seek peace. The toughest part is to arrive at a point where you realise this is the only way things can change. You may have relived the events over and over, recognised how you've reacted, seen how this event has affected your life. You then need to move away from your role as victim, so that this event no longer has power over you.
As you let go of the grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You may even find compassion and understanding. More on this topic later...
Hebrews 12:14-5 (The Message)
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.
2 comments:
mmm, I always remember the brother in the story of the prodigal son. It was easier for the father to forgive than the brother. I seem to sympathies with the brother, he would have seen his father hurting and been hurt himself, but never received an apology.
Caron, at the same time the older brother also refused to put himself into the place where an apology could have been received! This would suggest that he was more willing to hold onto the hurt than let go. Also most of the anger he spoke out seemed to be against the perceived injustice of never having had a calf slaughtered for him!
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