It is OK to say No...

I suppose this particular entry follows on a bit from my last post about selfishness and selflessness. You see, I am often told by my friends and family that "it is OK to say no" once in a while. They say it with the best of intentions. Why do I need to get so involved in so many different things?

Well, I love to be doing something useful. I want to be out there making a difference, in my own way. Yes, sometimes I do push myself a little too hard sometimes, going from one thing to another without too much of a break...

However, sometimes No is really not that easy. Well, it's not saying no, it's working out exactly what to say no to...

For example, I look at this week's calendar and I see a number of different 'appointments'. Opportunities to be a blessing to others, to encourage people, to learn more about myself and my own Christian walk. Then there are things I need to prepare for; things for the Army, prep for next week at work. There are places where the kids need to be, so Dad has to be there as taxi driver. Help with my son's CV. And there are even more practical things, like the car's MOT and servicing. I usually manage to fit it all in. Somehow.

I had something in the calendar on pretty much every day - on some days there were three or four things. So where could I start cutting things out? If I had missed, say, the appointment for the servicing of the car, I would have let down a friend who I had promised to visit in North London; been unable to drive my daughter to her disco last night. If I decided I simply couldn't be bothered, would there be anybody else to do these things? In some cases, the answer was a definite no. So I end up saying yes, 'going the extra mile'. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? (see link)

In fact, I then went on to spend a hour or so trying to 'thin out' the week, crossing out things where I could. Do you know what? In order to be true to myself, if I had to give a no or two then I'd rather ditch some of the 'social engagements'; the get-togethers, the chats. That would at least remove all that difficult 'small talk'... ugh! Does that sound awful? To an introvert like me, trying to make conversation is so draining.... so difficult. It can be hard work! However, I can't really say no to these events either - who would that annoy? Unfortunately, the very people who care for me, who encourage me to say no! They'd then say I'm being antisocial...

I'm really not. It's just not the way that I relax. The ideal way that I unwind is to lose myself in a good book; to catch up with friends on Facebook; even by writing this blog. That's how I recharge.

Friends, I care for you too. But I also care about the causes that I work for, the people I want to help. I want to do these things. Sometimes if I have to choose, to cut down, that might mean that I have to say no to you...

On the other hand - why not turn it around? Instead of me saying No, why don't you say Yes and come along with me? I get to see you; you get to work alongside me, see what I do, give me a hand. Work with me? Any time.

”This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.” (William Shakespeare - Hamlet)